Crystal Jordan :: Blog

I got food poisoning over the weekend. I feel like doggy poo warmed over. Sorry we didn’t get any postings this weekend. I know you’re tragically upset to be deprived of your Sunday Funnies quiz. Not to worry, there’s always next Sunday. It’s this amazingly cyclical thing. Mad Madam M can attest to the importance of cyclical things, especially when related to crop cycles and religion in ancient Egypt. (You really had to be there).

I found that the crappiest part about being sick is living alone. There’s literally no one to help you. If you want medication, chicken soup, or even someone to hold your hair back, you’re just plain S.O.L. No one’s going to tell you it’s all gonna be okay when you want to curl up and die. Well wishes from over the phone just don’t have that same je ne sais quoi.

In happier news, my laptop touch-pad mousy thing has decided to begin working again. I don’t know why, but I’m not gonna question it. Gift horses and all that.

I’m work, work, working all the time now. I have to go out of town today — a trip that was accidentally sprung on me earlier this week. Crystal=unhappy romantic. I don’t even remember the last time I sat down and wrote without having a specific goal in mind. Crazy. I also have an amazing idea for Harlequin’s new dark paranormal line. More on that in a day or two. I have to get special permission from somebody first. I looooove a good mystery…

Trying to ramp up the action in my book is going quite well. Came up with some fun uses for a magical hex called a nutcracker (tee-hee). We also have a carjacking and purse snatching scene. Nice!

Also…in the continuing saga of my work laptop…I had it returned to me on Sunday. Miraculously fixed. Woo-hoo. Then today, mere days later, what happens? The touch-mouse pad thingy breaks. Yes, it no longer works. I plugged a regular mouse in, but it’s throwing me off my game. I said yesterday I have a lot of work right now. And I still do. Stupid laptop. I’d kick it if I didn’t know I’d have to pay for the vile thing afterwards.

I have so much work to do right now, I run around like the friggin’ white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland shrieking “I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date!” Work is booting me in the bum lately. So, this is all the post you get. Here’s a happy hour dose of the stepmom’s newest artsy-fartsy stuff:

So, my cast of characters for Every Witch Way consisted of too many M and C names. Now, I love the hero and heroine’s names (Merek and Chloe), but I had to change a bunch of the other ones because I don’t need to confused people who might read the manuscript. (Now which one was Chloe/Callista/Celina? Argh!) I think I have it settled now. I found some really fun names. We’ll see if they last.

Wow. Things got fugly over on the Romancing the Blog site when MaryJanice Davidson (one of my fave slingers of sarcasm) started slinging poo back and forth about whether or not Amazon reviews are legit. In the end, people claimed MJ (who doesn’t have a college degree) thinks only PhD candidates should write reviews of romance novels. Currently, there are 99, count ‘em 99, comments on this blog post. Go read it. I got a huge kick out of how quickly the comments turned into jackboot thuggery, mild hysteria, and poo slinging. Also, MJ’s post on her own blog about the whole incident was friggin’ hilarious! Read that too. Keep a special eye out for comments about a$$hats. Hehehehehe.

Ladies & Gents, boys & girls, I give you — Today’s quiz: What Type of Ex are You?

You Are A Friendly Ex

You and your ex are just friends - great friends really. (At least that’s what you keep telling yourself!) While civility is a good thing, make sure you’re not secretly wanting more…

I’m trying to come up with some interesting new sub-elements/scenes to beef up my wordcount. My crit. partner will probably give me some suggestions on this area, too. And here’s half-naked man to cheer me up (courtesy of the step-parental unit). So what if she says he’s being drugged and tortured in that tank? He’s still nek-ked!

I’m having trouble seeing how Every Witch Way will make wordcount. I mean, I’ve told the story. There will still be additions and cuts, but, for the most part, it’s all there. And I’m nowhere close to 90K. And I’ve looked over submission requirements for paranormal/fantasy romance and most of them really want 100K. I don’t know what to do.

I always have the option of e-publishers. Most of them have lower wordcount requirements. Wouldn’t it be better to aim a good, tight, story at an e-publisher than a too-wordy beast at a print publisher? I don’t know. I still hope to make wordcount, but I feel stumped as to how to continue.

Bummer.

I started typing out a character sketch for Mindy McCray, the heroine in my young adult novel, The Misadventures of Supersize Girl . My stepmom is going to create a picture of her using her mad-skills in graphic art. When I talked to her last night, she said her model/muse/inspiration/victim for this picture will be…ME. How insano is that? Still, kinda cool as well. She’ll have to change the hair and skin tones, (Mindy is half-Italian) but she wouldn’t be too far from the vague image I have in my head.

Mad-skills Exhibit A: