I’m baaaaaaack! I had a great vacation in Amarillo and I want to go back. Work is icky today. Gaaaah!!!
As with all road trips, I come bearing stories and lessons learned:
1. In Oklahoma at dawn, if you’re on the OK/Arkansas border, watch for strangely happy men in trucks. He pulled up next to us on the freeway going 75mph and at first I thought he just wasn’t wearing a shirt (the man had a beer-gut and a half!) until he thrust his hips up to wave his penis at us. He had the goofiest grin on his face too! Never had a man wag his wang at me from a moving vehicle (a hotel balcony, yeah, but not a truck). My cousin (who drove with me) and I looked at each other to ask “Did you just see that?” I mean, 13 hours straight on the road can mess with your mind, but we both saw it so…EEEWWW!! LOL!!
2. Oklahoma City is non-hick (which surprised me) and is a fantastic place to stop for coffee and ice-cream (the cousin and I had opposing cravings)
3. The 24-hour Wal-Mart in Little Rock, AR is on exit 156, not 157. The gas station attendant sent us to 157 and we ended up in a severely ghetto portion of town where gas station attendant #2 of the evening gave us the proper directions. On our way out of the gas station we were propositioned by a man who couldn’t speak English, but got his point across rather eloquently with crude hand gestures. If that wasn’t enough, we had a man with a gold-coated-and-diamond-studded grill (i.e. his freaking teeth) offer to sell us CDs out of the trunk of his hoopty pimp-mobile. I think we laid rubber peeling out of that place. The Wal-Mart was actually in a nice area of town, only one exit further up the freeway. Oi!
4. Nothing is more beautiful than the Memphis skyline when you’re escaping Arkansas (and it’s Wal-Marts).
Best place names:
- Mangum, OK– It just sounds like a chewable sex toy (LOL! I may have to add that to a manuscript somewhere)
- Kickapoo, OK– because apparently, Hopoverapoo and Ickypoo were already taken.
- Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park, TN– because we’re SO proud we invented the KKK, we had to name a park after the guy! Family reunions there have lots of sheet washing involved. Hope there’s a Bed, Bath, and Beyond near by. Sheesh!
- Toad Suck State Park, AR– BEST ONE!!! There are no words to describe how hard the cousin and I laughed when we saw the sign for this one. I mean, Toad Suck??
