Crystal Jordan :: Blog

Okay, I’m going to be out of town again for a few days. Not saying where, so don’t even bother asking. Crystal’s riding off into the sunset. Deal with it.

Sooo, while I’m gone I shall be pimping my fave new author’s shit. Go buy it. Yeah, I’m telling you to put your money where my mouth is. Go. Buy. Now.

Today is Diana Castilleja, she’s got new e-book out through Forbidden Publications called Ice Cream in the Snow:

Blurb:

Jessica Harden has lived her adult life raising and protecting her son. Except her surprises have been lying in wait for her.

With the inheritance of her own business, her ordered life begins to experience the darker side of her ex-husband’s history, involving secrets and money. And someone in the shadows knows about both.

Go buy it!

Happy Memorial Day, folks!

You know why this is a spendiferously happy day? Because I don’t have anything better to do than sit here and write a post on my blog. How friggin’ awesome is that? Pretty damn awesome, in my personal opinion. And this blog is all about my personal opinion, so there.

What else is good today? I finished Full Swing last night! Okay, so it was reeeeeally early this morning, but who’s counting? Woo-hoo! Now I have to polish it up with the help of my loverly critique partner, Shawn, and the ab-fab Eden Bradley.

Also, I got my invite for the Passionate Ink Party at RWA Nationals this summer. Anyone can attend, so go check out the details here and come meet me in Atlanta!

In honor of the opening of X-Men 3, today’s quiz is: Which X-Man are you?

Cyclops is hot. Not as hot as Wolverine, but I’d do him.

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

You know what’s scarier than the weirdos mumbling and scratching themselves when they walk down the street? It’s the quiet freaks. The ones that know they’re weird and try to hide the freak flag. These are the ones that look totally normal and then give you a crazy-eyed look and do something so traumatizing you’re not sure you’ll ever recover. Like kiss you. Like kiss you in a way that’s practically raping your face. Or offer to get a permission slip from their wife so they can sleep with you and nobody has to feel guilty.

I mean, should we register ourselves as freaks? Maybe we could have different categories. Like “Hi, I’m Crystal and I’m a neurotic, self-absorbed literary Nazi with slightly schizophrenic tendencies. And this is my friend Shawn, who’s a single girl, but still manages to be a passive aggressive housewife. What’s your sign?”

Proudly flying my freak flag today so as not to startle anyone.

So, I’m on a borrowed laptop today and I can’t find any of the freaking buttons! Mine died. Again. The little guy was trucking along so well until last week. His screen started flickering madly every morning and then he’d be fine. I reported the problem to our computer services office and received the same response I’ve been getting every time there’s a problem with my laptop. “Oh, don’t worry about it. We’re getting you a new laptop soon.”

Shyeah. They’ve been telling me that since I got this job. A. Year. Ago. I may be a natural blonde people, but even blondes aren’t that dumb.

Anyway, I returned from supersecret location this morning to find Mr. Laptop doing the same flicker routine and thought nothing of it. I kinda thought of it as his morning woody. He just needed to pee and shake it off. No problems, right? Right…until everything went black. Totally black.

Shit.

I tried restarting (because that’s what they always tell you to do) and had no luck. So I personally escorted Mr. Laptop down to computer services for some rehabilitation work. That means my fingers’ muscle memory is being frustrated by this loaner laptop.

And you notice that as soon as my laptop became a problem for me, it immediately became a “he.” Figures.

Blogging to you from my super secret, undisclosed location. I can’t stay long, but we should be back to our regularly scheduled programming by Friday. I will be tired and cranky beyond all belief, but I’ll be back from my Mission: Impossible. Hope you all had fun without me. The Mad madam M rocks hardcore for blogging for me. LOVED the cartoon she came up with…I SO ask myself that question whenever confronted with the real men in my life…and NO, Stealth Dater Boy does not count as one of the real men in my life!

Write paranormal, futuristic, or fantasy? Ever had trouble with your world-building? Yeah, me too. Well, Shawn and I have put together something special over in Romance Divas Forum to help you out. You can ask the experts how they do it.

We have an exciting line-up of authors who have already agreed to come talk to us. We’re setting up a 3 day Q&A on June 9, 10, and 11. Check it out! I’ll give you more details as they come to us and more fan-tab-ulous authors may be signing up, so it could get even better!

Can you tell I’m totally geeking out about this? (I will be professional and not squee like a fangirl on these ladies. Repeat that 10 times fast.)

Mad Madam M here, attempting to fill in for Crystal. I originally had hoped to write a blog entry for today concerning the travesty that Mary Balogh’s early work is not being republished despite the high cost of those books on the internet, but alas I actually have to do ‘real’ work. Oh well…here is an amusing cartoon to hopefully fill the void!!



Tune in tomorrow for a message from our sponser…

So, for the next three days I’ll be out of town. Where I’m going is a mystery to all but those who talk to me on the phone (which is a lot of people, but I’m still not posting it on the internet!). I’ll be back on Friday. I may see if I can get the Mad Madam M to post for me so you’ll have something to read, but she’ll probably read this before I get a chance to call her. (Can you, M? Pleeeeease?)

I figured out what to do about my Samba. I just don’t have time to finish it by the early June deadline because I have to finish Full Swing and I’ll be out of town. But I have over 50% of the story done and it would just hurt my feelings if it didn’t get finished in time. So, what did I do, genius that I am? (You’ll be happy to know the genius actually misspelled genius before the spell checker caught it) I asked Shawn to team-write with me and finish it. YAY! We might have a chance to be published together. Woot! More details to follow as we get them hammered out (Shawn, you are doing the waterfall sex scene! It’s a good idea! People like waterfall sex!)