Crystal Jordan :: Blog

Today’s quiz: What time of day are you?

Okay, so the description is fairly true, but I’m really a morning person. A Crystal with no sleep is a seriously gruesome sight to behold. On top of that, you’d get to deal with Attila the Bitch. Run and hide, ladies! Run and hide!

Now The Mad Madam M is a nightowl. Toooootally. If it weren’t for the fact that she had to conform herself to regularly scheduled school hours, we may have never met. And wouldn’t that just be tragic because you all seem to love when I talk about our combined zaniness. Only Stealth Dater Boy has her beat out in popularity.

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you’re apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether you’re a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle. Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it. You enjoy staying home, but that doesn’t mean you’re a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

Alright, I have a good handle on the first Evil Presentation From Hell. I’ve hit a snag in the second EPFH and can’t continue without some outside help. This leaves me some extra time this weekend to finish my first EPFH and my review for Freya’s Bower. Hope they love it. And not just love it, but luuurrrve it.

I’m also polishing the crap out of Full Swing and hope to get it sent off this weekend. Cross-fingers!

In my wildest fantasies (and isn’t that a great way to open up a paragraph?) I’d be able to get the second EPFH and my Samba done by next weekend, but if it comes down to it, the EPFH wins. Hey, I have to keep Horatio in catnip somehow until I become a wildly successful NY Times best-selling author, right? It could happen, don’t laugh! Even The Nora wasn’t always The Nora. (Not that I am in any way, shape, or form attempting to compare myself to The Nora.)

As in: One step forward, two steps back. Or maybe: Dance a two-step to get out of this one.

Having so much to do is making me a bad person. I’m cranky, rude, and a very bad critique partner (sorry, Shawn!). Not that I’m not cranky and rude normally, but I usually do better on the CP front.

This weekend is gonna be special. I have to get everything done that needs to be done and pack to go out of town next week on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. So a week from now, you’ll have a seriously bitchy/travel-weary Crystal. It makes one want to suck their thumb and cry for their mommy! Or grandmommy, in my case.

I feel like one of those poor saps on the Jaws movies. The fin is circling, the ominous music is playing, and you just know you’re about to be lunch. What must that poor surfer-babe in a bikini be thinking? Two steps, baby, two steps.

I just found out today that the presentation I was working on for work will now have to be two separate presentations. I thought I was doing the same presentation twice, but not so. Now I have to come up with a second (huge, mondo, massive) presentation by next week. I also have to get my Samba done and finish up everything with “Full Swing” because I only submitted a partial and I have to get the whole thing finished, like now. I’m also going out of town for a few days and that cuts into my time even more.

Oh. God.

I think I’m hyperventilating. Quick! What does a panic attack feel like? I’ve never had one, but I think this is it!

I don’t know if I can do this because my boss just added some extra projects to my overloaded plate yesterday. Heeeeeelllllpppppp!!!

So I was looking at my stat counter and the built-in report of what search terms draw people to my blog. There were several but a few of them just stood out:

1. Celeste Bradley Boobs (I swear I just reviewed her book, I did not request that she flash her bubblies to get a good score!)
2. Teeny Bopper Blogspot (Excuse me? I passed the teeny bopper stage years ago. Pfft!)
3. I Hate Graduations (Truth. No argument here.)
4. Gena Showalter, Pictures, Biography (Okay, I’m a fan, but not that much of a fan! Not like squee fangirl fan. Of course, considering this keyword, apparently someone is. Or maybe she was googling herself…that Gena, she’s a sly one.)

My keyword analysis: Y’all are freaks!

That’s what I like about you.

Stealth Dater Boy is at it again. So, last week a bunch of people at the library (myself included) had to attended some training sessions for new programs we’re getting. Woot! Unfortunately, we needed someone to cover the reference desk for us. My boss thought the greatest idea in the world would be to ask SDB to fill in for us. And (here’s where it all starts circling the drain) that I should be the one to ask him. What?! Why me? Why, oh why? Anyone else in the department could ask him. Hell, my boss could just order him to do it. But, nooooo! It had to be me. Grrr.

So, I ask him through email because a) it’s less personal and b) I don’t have to hear his annoying voice. See? Crystal is a planner.

Yeah, that backfired. Now he thinks we should have some kind of smarmy office flirtation via email a la Bridget Jones’ Diary. Like I was too bashful to admit my true feelings for him in a more public forum. *gag*

The man truly believes he can wear me down, but really, the more he tries, the yuckier it gets. Sometimes persistence doesn’t pay off, people! Sometimes it just makes you a stalker!

I submitted “Full Swing.”

Holy crap, Batman!

I literally prepped the email and just stared at it for 10 minutes before I pushed the send button. After it was done, I thought I might puke. I literally had to stick my head between my knees and try not to hyperventilate. Yep, it’s official. I’m crazy.

But, at least this way, I have a shot at being crazy and published. *shrug* What can I say, I’m always looking for the trade-off.

Had a very productive weekend and got everything either done or almost done. That’s not something to complain about. Plus, look at my side bar! Check out that serious progress that was made on my Samba story, which I’ve tentatively titled “Finding Paradise.” Of course, I’m dragging ass this morning because a certain critique partner I have, who shall not be named, *cough* Shawn *cough* kept me up to an indecent hour talking to Eden Bradley in a three-way phone conversation that lasted literally 2.5 hours (and this is the only way I’d have a three-way that involved other women). Just because she wouldn’t believe me that an erotic romance story could have titty fucking in it. So, we called in an expert.

I won.

The End.

Today’s quiz: “What’s Your Pizza Personality?”

This is hilarious. Hilarious! I hate veggies on my pizza. I will literally sit there and pick off every veggie on a combination pizza. I’m a carnivore! I want meat on my pie. Pepperoni or any other meat. Or heck, throw them all on. Just no veggies! I got robbed on this quiz.

Veggie Pizza

Upscale and trendy. You’re the most likely to go for a gourmet pizza. You have impeccable taste in everything. You truly enjoy the finer things in life.

Weekend goals:

1::Work on Full Swing–still stinging from the reality check backhand, but I gotta get it done!
2::Work on Samba story–outline, GMC, set up sex scenes (the reason I really write romance)
3::Edit Luring Lorelei–yeah, yeah! I gotta get back to it, I know. Lay off, mom!
4::Do book review for Wild Child Publishing/Freya’s Bower. (Yay! They liked me. They really liked me! *sniff*)
5::Finish both book reviews for Romance Divas (I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date!)
6::Do that hairy-scary research/presentation for work-related stuff. (*grumble* I don’t wanna! It’s the weekend! *grumble*)

Things that scare me in grocery stores (just got back from shopping):

1::Men who sing to themselves.
2::Men who sing Whitney Houston to themselves.
3::Farmer Bob men who sing Whitney Houston to themselves.
4::Farmer Bob men who sing Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Woman” to themselves.

Really, I wish I were kidding.

My Samba idea is in full swing (not to be confused with my short story “Full Swing,” which is totally different). I known where I’m setting it (Peru) and who my characters are and the story and everything! I totally think this will work. Not saying they’ll like it enough to buy it, but that I like it enough to write it to the best of my ability. Plus, I got to do more research and as I mentioned yesterday, I’m a research whore.

I’m cleaning up “Full Swing” right now. Paring down the subplots because I tend to overcomplicate my short stories. I got a come-to-Jesus, reality-check type bitch-slap from Eden Bradley the other day and she helped me brainstorm a more realistic plot for that short a story. *Hail, Eden! I’m not worthy!*