Crystal Jordan :: Blog

I SOLD! I SOLD! I SOLD!

*breathe*

I SOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDDDD!

*slap*

Okay, back now. I sold my short story, Full Swing, as a Tryst to Cobblestone Press. Ohmygawd! They liked me! They really, really liked me! (Well, okay. I don’t know if they really, really liked me, but they bought my shit, so woot!)

Anyway, I’ll give you more details about cover art and release dates (because you guys better buy my book!) as they come to me. I’m already in the first round of edits. Yaaaayyyy!

Yep, I’m back. I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere else any time soon and I have to tell you that that’s awesome. I didn’t get as much done on Luring Lorelei as I had hoped, but them’s the breaks. Yeah, yeah whip-crackers! I’ll get to it soon, I promise. It was a busy weekend.

I did discover a new review site recently that cracks me up. It’s called Literary Sass. I ran into some of the “Sassy Chicks” over on Tawny Taylor’s and Shelli Stevens’ blog (fan-tab-ulous fellow divas). Funny and snarky. Kinda like Smart Bitches, I guess? Anyway, go check ‘em out. They’re funny as hell.

That’s all I’ve got today, folks. See ya tomorrow!

Today’s quiz is all about California. That’s where I’m originally from, by the way. I’m a total nomad and I move every couple of years, but I’m a Cali girl at heart. Today, it’s hot and humid as hell in Tennessee and I miss California. I miss the weather and the beach and the amusement parks and the Sierra Nevada Mountains. I miss California in summer. So, this quiz is about where your inner Californian belongs….because we’re a weird lot in Cali. What’s north is north and what’s south is south and in between is a no man’s farmland.

I’m from northern California, so the results of this quiz come as no surprise to me.

I *heart* SF.

You Belong in San Francisco

You crave an eclectic, urban environment. You’re half California, half NYC. You’re open minded, tolerant, and secretly think you’re the best. People may dismiss you as a hippie, but you’re also progressive, interesting, and rich!

So, a few days ago, I mentioned that I was going to name a character Cynthiana after the town in Kentucky. I had planned to make this a secondary character, but the main chica in my plus sized chick lit vamp story (I’m calling it Big Girls Don’t Die) wants this name. Her little sister is going to be named Victoriana (sense a theme?). And instead of being in Portland, Oregon like I had originally planned, these two nutty chicks hijacked my story and set it in Knoxville, Tennessee. Oh, well. If MaryJanice Davidson can do her vamp stories in Minnesota, I can do mine in Tennessee.

I’m still in the brainstorming phase for this story, but I think it will be fun. And the main guy in this is totally hot. I’d do him. That’s my rule for all my heroes…if I wouldn’t sleep with them, neither would my heroines. I don’t write dumb chicks.

I finished the last evil Project From Hell at work! Yeeaaaaaah! Done, baby! Done and done! Now I get to enjoy a nice long three day weekend. I’m going out of town again, so you get your weekend posts a bit early. Enjoy!

I’m going to try to get some good writing in and I’m waiting for some good news. If I hear anything I’ll let you guys know. The anticipation is killing me. I’m not a patient woman when I don’t have to be. And this is my blog, so I don’t have to be. So, pfffft!

Okay, so I have a question. Would you read a romance novel with a fat/rubenesque/BBW (Big, Beautiful Woman) heroine? I’ve had a few ideas recently that had fluffy chicks as my main characters. Basically, I am a fat girl. I’d like to read about more women who look like me getting the guy in the end. So there! Down with skinny chicks!

Yeah, yeah. I’ve got nothing against the bony ladies, but I might do my next few books with BBW heroines. Luring Lorelei for sure and then a new vampire chick lit. The vampy girl will be fat and loving it. She’s not going to have all the image-obsessed binge dieting issues that run rampant through every other book I’ve read with a big heroine. Nope, she’s going to be a former plus-sized model who likes the way she looks. Details will come to you as they come to me.

Okay, I have to admit I haven’t accomplished jack with my writing in the last two weeks. In my defense, I’ve been out of town for most of it. I also have a million projects at work and about 16 books to review. I need a break. No more reviews for two whole weeks after I finish this next one. I can get Luring Lorelei done by then, right? Right. I think. Maybe. It’s possible.

So, I’m taking a deep breath and saying “No!” to anyone who asks me to do anything new. No, no, no, no, no. See? I can do this. Right? Right! (Unfortunately, this tactic doesn’t work well with my boss. She’s pretty unimpressed by it, actually. Some people, I swear. Never satisfied….tough crowd.)

Yep, I know today’s post is a bit late, but I just got in from the roadtrip to Ohio and back. As always, I bring back wisdom, whine, and song.

• Cincinnati, OH: The perfect place to have some asshole throw up a rock and crack your new car’s windshield. May the motherfucker’s manroot shrivel to limpness and may he be effected with premature balding for all eternity. Amen.
• The Kentucky Horse Park: One word–cooooooooool! I got to see spiffy horses and museums and Cigar–aka the coolest racehorse of all time. Or at least my life time. I mean, the horse made the cover of like Forbes and Sports Illustrated or something. That’s just awesome. Also saw the horse who played Seabiscuit in the movie…sweet! Then I called my horse-crazed stepmom and taunted her unmercifully…and bought her gift shop presents to make up for it.
• Cynthiana, KY: nothing special here, but I think I’m gonna name a character in my next story Cythiana. It’s just purrrty.
• Big Bone Lick State Park, KY: Yes, please. There is so much I could do with one of these. *snort* Okay, that’s just too good to pass up, ya know? Big Bone Lick…seriously? Big. Bone. Lick.

Today’s quiz: What flavor Frappuccino are you?

Before I allow this quiz to take place, I have to say that I hate coffee. Yes, that’s right. I hate it. I won’t drink it. I don’t even like coffee flavored ice cream. Blech! The only reason you’re getting this sacrilegious shit on my blog is because this weekend is all about my lil cuz, Emily. And she’s a fucking addict. Don’t speak to her in the morning without coffee and expect to come away with all your limbs intact. In fact, the best thing to do is poke her awake with a long stick, leave some steaming coffee as a distraction/peace offering, and then run like hell.

Oh! And…because I have to pimp our fabulousness…go check out the Worldbuilding Q&A at the Romance Divas. Sunday is your last chance!

Caramel Frappuccino

Creative and expressive, you tend to match your Frappuccino flavor to your mood. And a flavored syrup is always a must!

Okay, so it’s a quick trip to the other side of the Ohio River…I’m going to see my little cousin matriculate from The Ohio State University. I’m way proud of her, too. She’s getting a bachelor’s in English with an emphasis in education. She about to be a teacher. Go, Emily!

Can I get Hoot-hoot? (Inside joke between me and her)

I’ll be outta town until Monday night so my Monday post will probably be late, late, late. Have a fantastic weekend!

Also, go to the World-building workshop Shawn and I put together in the Romance Diva Forum. Go, now!