Crystal Jordan :: Blog

Hey all!

For those of you who don’t know, today is my favorite holiday of the year. Yes, that’s a bit creepy. Do I care? No really. And as you can see from my picture, it doesn’t make me a scary goth queen (not that I don’t love the goth babes, I just couldn’t pull it off). I just love the costumes and candy. Mmmm…chocolate. And sugar. And a high that lasts all day. A good excuse to break the diet. Carving pumpkins and stuff a flaming object inside. What’s not to love?

Plus! As a Happy Halloween gift from the Gods…I managed to squish the evil tarantual’s clone this morning! Yaaaaay! Death to evil mutant sideshow freak arachnids! Down with Shelob (or however you spell it. I should have gone as Frodo or Sam this Halloween).

Today I’m talking about working on multiple works in progress over at The Novelty Girls. So, go check it out!

Also, I wanted to show some love to a fellow author (who could already kick my ass in popularity, but whatever!) Here’s some stuff about Deidre Knight’s new one.

Deidre Knight Cranks up the Heat in Her Latest Installment in the Parallel Series: PARALLEL HEAT

“Intelligent characters, hot romance and breathtaking adventure with epic feel—exactly what I want to read!” - Susan Grant, New York Times bestselling author

“A fantastic and riveting new voice in paranormal fiction.” -Karen Marie Moning, New York Times bestselling author of Spell of the Highlander

“At times humorous, at others heart-wrenching, but always compelling, Deidre Knight offers readers a fresh, wonderfully creative glimpse at the complexity of human decisions. What a page-turner!” - Gena Showalter, Author of Playing with Fire

In the unforgettable, alternate world of Parallel Heat, two enemies are bound by betrayal, vengeance—and forbidden passion.

Warrior and royal guardian Marco McKinley has been assigned a vital mission on Earth, where a war between human fighters and otherworldly soldiers is rising in the far reaches of Wyoming. But he’s also been warned about twists of fate yet to come-ones that will transform him into the enemy of his own people and appoint him the personal protector of beautiful soldier Thea Haven.

Little do Marco and Thea know, but they have met before in an alternate universe, and they are bound by betrayal and vengeance. Now, on a world at the brink of destruction, forbidden passion ignites—but will the destiny Marco has glimpsed unfold a second time?

Sign up for Deidre’s newsletter and be eligible to win a $50 Amazon gift certificate, signed copies of her books, and plenty of other goodies! Just click here.

Check out the book that launched the series, PARALLEL ATTRACTION or order your copy of PARALLEL HEAT today! And coming in April, PARALLEL SEDUCTION.

OKay, so we’re doing a fun quiz today. This is the Boobie Name Generator. Or if you’re a guy, the Moobie Name Generator, for the Man Boob.

Have fun. Me and the Girls are doing well. The Bazoombas. Say it with oomph.

Your Boobies’ Names Are…

The Bazoombas

There’s been a few books that have come out in the past month that I’ve been meaning to recommend to you, but have been a total slacker and haven’t managed to get posted. So here they are, a four for one deal.

I really loved all of these bokk, and I highly recommend dropping your coin on this bunch. You trust me, right? Right? Guys?

Here they are with official blurbage and links to how to get them into your hot little hands.

Gunslingers & Ghost Riders by A.L. Debran
Gunslinger Matt Caddock is looking for the next place to sell his guns when blue-eyed widow Brenna Gerard intervenes. With Brenna at his side, he can finally fulfill his promise to a dying friend and hang up his guns for the love of a good woman.

But the lure of hidden gold, another man’s greed, the threat of losing his soul to the ghostriders in payment for the violent life he’d led, and the presence of a wandering restless spirit complicate his plans. Time is running out and Matt faces the ultimate sacrifice for love: His soul for Brenna’s life.
Buy it here!

Invasion Earth by Loribelle Hunt
In the distant future, Earth is ravaged by war and famine before settling into an uneasy peace. Then the Delroi invade. General Alrik Torfa has one mission. Subdue the people of earth with minimal damage and find his promised mate. He is more than a little surprised to discover her leading the enemy army.

Sergeant Major Laney Bradford has always played her part and served her people well, but the demands of the Delroi’s surrender are a bit extreme. How far will she go to ensure peace for her world? And how involved will her heart get in the process?
Buy this! You know you wanna!

Raleigh in Rio by Cassidy Kent
Raleigh Campbell just learned that her five year marriage was a sham. Not only did she find her husband in their bed with a co-worker, but he has been carrying on the affair for four years! To cheer her up, Raleigh’s friends take her to Rio during Carnivale to celebrate her 30th birthday and pending divorce.

Little does she know that her soon-to-be ex has cheated his company more than her. Private investigator Cristo Santiago has been assigned to watch Raleigh’s every move in search of twelve million dollars of embezzled corporate money and that’s landed him in the hot waters of obsession. His love for Raleigh is sealed under the starry Rio sky, but can he find the missing money without losing Raleigh’s trust?
Be a good girl, and buy it!

Vegas Magic: This Spells Trouble by Shelli Stevens

Arianna’s a holistic witch who tries to stay out of trouble. But trouble finds her when the Hell’s Ball she’s attending lives up to its name. She meets a cocky vampire who’s creating havoc on her hormones. But he’s also her only hope at getting through the night alive.

Jake’s a casino investigator, working undercover as a bartender on Halloween night. When a sexy, green-eyed witch becomes the targeted victim for a sacrifice ritual, he’ll go to any lengths to save her. Especially when he realizes she may be more to him than just another casual lover.
Buy it, baby!

Today’s my day to post on Shadows of Passion. So go check it out, I’m talking about writing novels versus short stories and which is better. Click here.

And I have to give a humble apology to the Mad Madam M because I totally spaced on Hump Day Hotties.

So I have decided to horrify her with a little bit of love from one of my dirty little secret pleasure, America’s Next Top Model.

Here it is, beefcake romance novel style.

So, I was in the bathroom last night when what comes creeping under the door but an exact replica of the ginormous tarantula from hell that I slayed last week. What the heck?!? I alway knew that things might come back to haunt me someday, but dang!

I tiptoed over it, because ther was nothing handy in the bathroom with which to squish it. I then ran like a manic on crack to my bedroom, scooped up the Big & Tall shoe that I used last time, and shot back to the bathroom.

It disappeared.

I freaking searched everywhere for that spider. I have a teeny tiny postage size stamp bathroom, so I have no idea where the big hairy bastid could be hiding.

Huh.

Now I’m going to have nightmares about ghost/clone tarantuals from hell crawling/biting/sucking me dry while I sleep.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

So I was talking to a friend (who shall remain anonymous) when she mentioned that she had made a pop culture reference to Luke and Leia being brother and sister. This person she was talking to (who shall also remain anonymous) had no idea what she was talking about.

*crickets*

What the %$#$%^&???? How does anyone born in the US not know that? I mean I’m not a Star Wars junkie myself, but damn. Who the hell doesn’t that Luke and Leia are twins seperated at birth? I mean, come on. I’m appalled, horrified, and downright befuddled. That’s just crazy talk.

I think Star Wars has really become a staple in American society, you don’t even have to have ever seen it to know the basic storyline. There are lines from the orginal (good) trilogy that anyone should know, for example:

Luke, I am your father (pronounced fah-thah)

There is another Skywalker (pronounced Sky-wal-ker)

So for all of you who don’t know or have the sad misfortune to have never watched Star Wars, go check it out.

I finished Revenant! Finished! Finished! Finiiiiiiiiiiished! Yay!

I’m Snoopy dancing like mad all over the place here. Woot!

Okay, so there’s still a few scenes I want to expand before I submit it tonight, but it’ll be in to the publisher by the end of the day. I’m so freaking stoked, I feel like I’ve worked on this forever. Tolstoy took less time to finish his work, I’m sure.

I talk a little bit more about what it’s like to type The End and what comes after that over at The Novelty Girls today, so go check it out!

I found a quiz on whether or not I’m going to be rich. Like filthy rich. This quiz says I’ve only got a 50-something percent chance of being a multimillionaire.

This doesn’t look good for Mad Madam M’s chances of getting her personal pool boy (sans pool).

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 52%

You have a decent shot at being a multimillionaire. Surprised? You’re confident and a hard worker. Keep it up!

So.

Lately I’ve spent a lot (more than my usual, which is saying something) of time on the phone with Jennifer Leeland. She is crazy. Like cuh-razy. In fact, she insisted that I blog about her today, while I’m on the phone with her. Say hi!

Here are some examples of the fun and odd conversations with Jen.

Her: I think this is dirty, I mean I used the word penis once.

Me: That’s dirty? I mean, if you want it to be dirty, you should at least say cock.

Her: I hate that word.

Me: Prude.

Her: No, that’s Dayna you’re thinking about.

Me: Whatever.

Her: Just be happy I don’t drunken dial you tonight.

Me: Do it and suffer the consequences. I have an irresistable urge to mess with people who call me while intoxicated.

Her: Whatever.