Crystal Jordan :: Blog

I was talking to the Mad Madam M the other day and we discussed her upset over the lack of Hump Day Hotties.

M: You had no naked men on your blog today. What’s that about?

Me: I did that so I wouldn’t have to come up with extra stuff to say while I was gone. I didn’t want you to have to blog for me EVERY day.

M: Whatever. It was the one day I could relate to. Naked men works for me.

Me: Especially the Towel Edition you came up with, right?

M: Well, of course.

Me: I’ll think about it.

M: You should really reconsider! Now your blog is all about writing blah, blah, blah…

Me: Um, yeah. Because I’m, you know, a writer.

M: Yeah, what’s your point?

Me: I think I just got dumber listening to that question.

M: You’re a frickin’ librarian. There aren’t supposed to be any dumb questions for you!

Me: Yeah, what’s your point?

One: go check out my post on the Shadows of Passion blog today. I talk about some of the issues with romntic suspense and how to define the genre. Go read it, you know you want to! And give me comments, this is an all-out shameless plug. Shelli, Tempest, and Jennah were having fun dropping those at the Cobblestone Press chat last night. Nice seeing you ladies! I had a great time visiting with everyone.

Two: The Mad Madam M was quite distressed that I discontinued Hump Day Hotties (I had them to keep you visually entertained while I was away. I mean, who doesn’t like pretty boys, especially ones in towels like M presented for your viewing enjoyment?) So, back by popular demand next week will be the continuing saga of Hump Day Hotties.

Stay Tuned.

So, I started my new job on Monday. I love it so far. Mind you, I’m only two days in. This is the honeymoon phase. With any luck at all the honeymoon phase will last for years and years.

Another level of work is my story Revenant. I’m busting my butt to get this one done becuase I am SO ready to work on The Accidental King Maker. I love the concept of this story. I was talking to a friend about it today and just got so excited about it again. I love that about a story, when the idea is just rushing through you and you have to write it and it just takes over. It’s such a huge rush. Does anyone else get that, or am I just a freak of nature here?

Revenant is rolling right along though. I’m hoping to have it submitted within the next week or so. Woohoo, lots of work going on. Time to kick these ponies and get it done.

So, the epic battle of Crystal versus the Evil Tarantual from Hell (ETH).

The morning began as any other does in the Jordan household. I get up (drag my ass outta bed) and bathe in a luxurious tub (loooong shower in which I try to wake my sorry self up with scalding hot water). I then apply fabulous make up and freshen up in my ginormous bathroom (run a comb through my hair and brush my teeth). Then I spot the windowsill, which sports the most insanely huge spider I have ever seen in my life. This thing should be housed in a zoo it’s so huge.

It’s not moving. I’m hoping the thing is dead, so I lean foward and blow on it (so as not to get too close to the ETH). The thing does a somersault and leaps at my face (really it did!). As any brave hero in an epic battle would do, I jumped back and fell on my ass. Then I scrambled back from the charging spider, screaming like a little girl.

I ran to my bedroom and rifled through 13 freaking unpacked boxes until I found my tallest shoes with the biggest heels (yeah, cuz I wanna get close to the ETH again). I slowly crept back into the bathroom, hoping to spot the ETH. There he was, lurking in wait for me. I stepped up to the plate and the little bastard tried to chase me again, but i had a little surprise hiding behind my back.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

End game.

I win, beyotch. That’s what you get for violating my bathroom.

It’s Novelty Girls Day!

Go check out my blog about writing on the road and how to get your business taken care of. Or at least how I did it.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about my first day at my new job and about the heroic battle I had with a mega-huge tarantula.

Final Score:

Crystal 1
Spider 0

That’s right, baby. I booted his ass to the curb. Death to spidy!

Today’s quiz is about predicting what your birth order is. Frankly this is the least accurate quiz I’ve had so far. Mad Madam M is an only child. Me? I have three brothers and grew up right next door to two cousins. We had a mi casa, su casa policy. So, that makes a whole boatload of siblings. This bad boy was waaaaaaay off.

Wonder if it gets M’s orrder right. How’d it do for you?

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you’re organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

Hey everyone!

I’m back from the road, and settling into my new apartment in Salt Lake City. I’m stoked to be here, I like my new digs, and the moving guys managed to get my things here in (fairly) decent shape. Nothing too valuable was broken or damaged. Apparently the guys wrecked their truck on the way, so they were about four days late. They drove under a bridge that was too low. Oopsy.

I met with my new boss for lunch, and she’s a total sweetheart. Even nicer than I remember from my interview. I’m not sure I’m nice enough to work here. I may have to really reign in the real Crystal. Good luck to me.

My first day of work is Monday. Eek! I’m excited and terrified all at once, ya know. I hope this is as awesome a job as I think it’ll be.

So good to be back! Missed you guys.

Well…it’s Friday the 13th and Cry’s new book Wereplanets: In Ice comes out today. Don’t forget to stop by over at Cobblestone Press and download your copy today!!! Well, that and encourage others by any - well maybe not any but you get the idea - means necessary!!

WEREPLANETS: IN ICE

Mad Madam M here…I’m guessing you are all sick of me by now, but the good new is that Crys will be back soon, I promise. I know Crys has unofficially started a sporadic “Hump Day” column on Wednesdays that features hot guys without shirts, so I thought I would continue that tradition, but instead of nameless pretty faces and bods, these boys are hotties I watch on a weekly basis!

But before I get to the images…here’s a word from our sponser!!

Don’t forget to enter to win a gift certificate from Cobblestone Press! All you have to do is blog about Crys’s upcoming release WEREPLANETS: IN ICE available on October 13, 2006 over at you home for the best e-books on in the internet… Cobblestone Press . For more information on the book or the details on how to win that gift certificate from Cobblestone Press by simply cutting and pasting, click here!!

Ok…now onto the nekkid boys…this week featuring towels!!!! (Sorry for the poor quality of the first image, but I couldn’t find a better screencap - believe me I searched - and for the record, I would just like to say that I didn’t photoshop the second image…I just found it on the internet, although I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse!!) Don’t forget to wipe that drool!!

Mad Madam M here…it looks like Crys is somewhere in Wyoming…or at least that is the last place I heard from her before being unceremoniously disconnected due to the horrible reception out in the middle of nowhere. At least I was able to share the weather reports first and assuage the growing snow fears. I did my good deed of the year. Perhaps Santa will bring me a hottie this year for Christmas!?!?! (Hey, a girl can dream and man do I have an imagination!)

Anyway, to commemorate her journey through middle America, I located this postcard!! Enjoy!!

Oh! and don’t forget to blog about Crys’s upcoming release WEREPLANETS: IN ICE!!
Available October 13, 2006 from Cobblestone Press . For more information on the book or to get the scoop on how to win a gift certificate from Cobblestone Press by simply cutting and pasting, click here!!