Crystal Jordan :: Blog

I need a kick in the butt. I just got back from vacation and am having trouble getting back in the swing of things. Basically I’m a whiny slacker. The weather has really thrown me off too. There’s white crap falling from the sky, and what insano (besides Shelli) really likes that on a constant basis? Yeah, yeah. I moved to a mountain state, it was bound to snow, I get that, but ick!

So now I’m sludging through snow to and from work and my car and the house and my car and anywhere else and my car. I kinda feel bad for my car. I really do love my car. It’s fast, gets good mileage, and has six cylinders. Basically all the things I’d want in a nice vibrator. Here’s a picture of the kinda car I drive. Isn’t he cute? His name is Billy. Yes, I name my cars. I prefer to have something to call it when I cuss it out for popping a tire. And I always give them boy names because what woman in her right mind would co-exist with me for any length of time. Pretty and dumb, that’s my boy!

I’m blogging over at Shadows of Passion today, and I bring you the latest edition of luscious malehood for Hump Day Hotties.

While I was in California, the Mad Madam M got me turned on to the show Supernatural. We did a marathon and got through the DVDs of the first season. The two actors are freaking hawt. Very pretty. I’ve featured them on Hump Day Hotties before, but now they come with fun taglines at the bottom. Click and make them bigger.

Yum.

It snowed here last night. Ugh. I really hate snow. Where I grew up snow was a recreational thing you drove to for skiing or snowboarding or sledding. It was not something that buried your car in the morning, and you had to dig yourself out of. Fat girls do not look cute in a shovel.

I had the fun and joy of spinning around in an intersection today. It sucks when the cold magical white stuff becomes slippery dangerous black stuff.

Just as a reminder, both of my new stories Finding Paradise and All She Wants for Christmas have been released. There’s a contest for these books called Christmas in Paradise and you can win this spiffy ornament.

How do you get it? Just sign up for my Yahoo Group to enter.

We take a break from our normally scheduled writerly-ish chat for a personal statement.

Jennifer McKenzie is evil.

Why? Because she set me up.

I totally saw the set up coming from a mile off. Little comments dropped into conversations for the past few months. Yeah. I got it. It took a couple whacks over the head with a sledgehammer, but I got it. Subtlety, thy name is Jen.

The second I saw my set-up guy, my first thought was: No. Way. In. Hell.

Why? Because he was hot. Not just cute, or good looking, or nice from a certain angle. HAWT. Yes, in all capitals. He’s a former Marine (read: built like a Greek God) and is going back to school as a math major (read: smart/uber logical).

Of course, my first reverse-snob thought of Sergeant Spock was he’d be vain, rude, and completely in love with himself. (Hey, I’m the fat girl. This is usually the response we get from Tall Dark & Hawt boys.) I have to be socible because he’s Jen’s friend’s son. And, hell yes, I flirted. Even if he is totally into himself, I can always give the flirt-skills a workout. Plus, did I mention he was hot?

Unfortunately, Jen was right (the narsty beyotch) and he was nice, funny, and managed to entertain me for a few hours. I had to run when the beloved grandma called with a crisis. I felt it best not to shriek “Cockblocker!” into the cell phone and hang up. So, a nice showing overall but a bit rough on the dismount. Ah, well. Now comes the inevitable suckfest of waiting to see if he calls. So, still on a high from the pseudo-sorta-kinda set-up date, but will jump every time the damn phone rings. Ugh.

Damn you, Jen.

Oh yes, and I blogged at Novelty Girls today.

So there are four new books coming out in the next year that I am so stoked to get my hands on. The bonus: they all have awesome, unbelievable covers. So, check out my picks on the lucky bitches who got smacked by the Good Cover Fairy (TM).

First, we feed my craving for the rest of the HeartMate series by Robin D. Owens. I love these books. Every last one of them. And do you see how nice they were to me by giving a full flegded (yet not creepy) helping of man-titty? Yum.

Okay, when I had lunch with Gena Showalter and Jill Monroe, Gena teased me by saying she should maybe have brought the cover flat for me to see. So, now it months later and I finally get to see how spiffy this bad boy is. I mean flames, nekked man, cool butterfly tattoo. It’s almost like they want to tempt me with it. Crazy, I know. Still the man dies every night. That’s dark. That’s angst. And it’s Gena, so ya know that’s good sex. I want to read it. Now.

Third up is MaryJanice Davidson’s new series. Her original title was Bitch Out of Water, and I can see why they didn’t let her keep it, but I think it’s funny as hell. This is my least fave of the four covers here (Sorry MJ) but I sooooooo want to read it. If you haven’t yet, go read the excerpt. I totally fell in love with her Undead series, and her Alaska series, so one more to buy makes me all happy inside.

Last, but so not least, is Jill Monroe’s new book. The only thing I’d like better is if I could see the front of him in this game of strip poker they’re teasing me with. I’m like TURN AROUND! Can’t wait to read the book. There are very few people that I own all their books, and Jill is one of them. True, I haven’t READ all of them yet, but I own them and that has to count for something. They’re in the Mutant To-Be-Read Pile (TM).

The holidays: that lovely time when skinny people can be mocked for their inability to hold their own at a sporting event–WWF Eating Smackdowns.

My holiday release got bumped up and it comes out TODAY. Yay!

The good news? This is a super quick read and I’m cheaper than a latte. So go buy me, someday I’ll be too rich for even my own blood.

Here’s a quick blurb:

The wedding is off! Emma Richards just walked away from the only man she’s ever loved, her overbearing parents, and the pressures of life. Somehow her well-ordered existence has spiraled out of control to the point that she’s hiding in a bathroom stall until everyone leaves the department store with the wedding planner. When she makes her escape, she finds herself trapped in the elevator with her furious fiance, who knows just how to convince her that giving up on the wedding is one thing, but giving up on their relationship is out of the question. Eloping is all Emma really wants for Christmas, and Paul is just the man to deliver.

Click here to buy!

I got my cover for Revenant, which is part of Cobblestone Press’ In the Runes series. I love the chick on this cover, she looks exactly like I picture my heroine.

A bit about the book:
Rue Daniels’ ability to talk to ghosts–revenants–has gotten her thrown into a mental institution. It has also made her a target for recruitment. Both the CIA Revenant Division and their enemies want her on their side. John Weston is a revenant, and the CIA’s top agent. He’s been sent to protect her, train her…and use her. Love was a distraction they couldn’t afford.

Sooooo, the trip to California was…interesting. I blogged about some of it over at The Novelty Girls. I killed a jackrabbit and the evil Rambo Bunny clung to my bumper and popped my tire, leaving me stranded on the side of the road. In the desert. At night.

Not fun.

Today we’re all about Turkey Day. What part of Thanksgiving are?

The funny thing is, I’m not a huge fan of stuffing. But you saw it here, folks! I’m complicated and deep. Hehe.

You Are The Stuffing

You’re complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together. People miss you if you’re gone - but they’re not sure why.