Crystal Jordan :: Blog

I’m blogging over at Shadows of Passion today. Woot! Go read!

Welcome to a special Wentworth Miller edition of Hump Day Hotties, brought to you by our sponsor Mad Madam M.

The title for this edition? Wenty and the Pretty.

Mad Madam M: Nobody puts Wenty in the corner…unless he wants to be. And then it is perfectly fine. Except I have no idea why he is holding sunglasses and why the top of his jean is undone. Wait his jeans are undone…never mind. Screw a reason! I don’t need a reason!

Crystal: I don’t know why he’s staring so hard at that wall, except maybe if he’s envisioning me between him and it. Yeah. That I can work with.

Mad Madam M: The boy needs to wear socks, but other than that, it is one beautiful photo!

Crystal: Yeah, because I was so looking at his lack of SOCKS. I was hoping for a lack of pants. Would have been a whole different photo shoot I think.

Mad Madam M: The hay kind of makes me uncomfortable and I do wonder how he has kept the sweater clean in the barn, but those are trifles next to the great prep-look. I have always been a sucker for the preppy look…

Crystal: I’ve never been one for barnyard luvin’ but for him I’ll make an exception.

Mad Madam M: So that has got to be one of the ugliest couches I have ever seen, but even saddled with that, his prettiness doesn’t diminish! His hotness knows no bounds!

Crystal: Dude, I think I have that couch.

Mad Madam M: Not sure which side of the fence Wenty is on, but it really doesn’t matter. Incarcerated or not, I will still love him. I mean, I have already watched him behind bars and seen him betray his best-friend, played by the hot, but not-so-bright Scott Speedman, in Underworld.

Crystal: Prison boys are hot right now. It’s the in thing, don’t you know?

Mad Madam M: He’s staring again…he is always doing that gorgeous, fine-looking, brooding stare!

Crystal: That’s his classic make love to the camera, baby look

Mad Madam M: If only that was the window into my heart…

Crystal: Oh, brother.

Mad Madam M: There he is, doing that amazingly hot brooding stare again. If only I knew what he was staring at!

Crystal: I think he farted. But, prettily!

Mad Madam M: Just because he’s wearing a see-through sweater and is greased like a pig, doesn’t make Wenty any less manly…ok maybe a little, but the masculinity of those jeans make up for it in every possible way!

Crystal: Guest starring on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, it the Fab Five plus One. He’s hawt, he’s sexy, he’s greasy. And he likes that backdoor lovin’…OH YEAH, Wenty you can come on out of that closet now!

Mad Madam M: Never thought I would ever be jealous of grass…or that sod could ever be sexy, but I have been wrong before, and I really don’t mind being wrong now!

Crystal: Yes. Grass is my friend. Every single person in Berkley thinks Wenty’s their new poster boy.

Mad Madam M: The eyes…oh so pretty!I honestly don’t know what more I can say on the subject. (Although I will try, I have no doubt!)

Crystal: I’m too sexy for my picture, too sexy for my picture, too sexy for my…well, yeah we get that he’s sexy.

Mad Madam M: If only I had loosened that tie and unbuttoned that shirt…
(*stops to wipe the drool off the keyboard)

Crystal: Eww. She drooled on me! This one has the part-hotty, part washed up band geek thing going for it.

Mad Madam M: You see…he is pulling out the chair in anticipation of my coming out to the patio. And hey, it looks like the sun might be setting. I can picture it now…I’m not delusional…not at all!

Crystal: Um. I was thinking he looks like he’s about to violate that chair. And I get front row seating. Sweet.

Mad Madam M: Not only does he a have a degree in English Literature from Princeton, but…

Crystal: Yeah, I was totally looking at his DEGREE. Uh huh. When you’re that pretty it’s almost criminal to be smart too. Ah, well. He is in jail now. All is right with the world.