Crystal Jordan :: Blog

So, I’m prepping my first manuscript for submission to New York.

Holy. Freaking. Jesus.

Someone hand me a shot glass full of something that burns on the way down. One thing I don’t get about New York publishing…the synopsis. Does it really tell them anything useful about the book? Wouldn’t a blurb do just as well? And you can write a superb book, but a 5 page synopsis is what keeps you from getting published?

That’s…horrifying.

Now I have to figure out how to write a kick-ass synopsis. All this effort goes into improving your writing ability, but the synopsis is a whole different kettle of fish on writing style. Argh!

I’m panicking a bit. This is not the story I imagined sending to New York, but I do love it. I always pictured Every Witch Way as my ticket to New York, but it’s stalled (yet again) and this story is there and ready to go out. How insane is that?

*breathing into paper bag*

I’m blogging later today about conferences over at The Novelty Girls. Go check it out!

So, today I want to talk about why I hate Blogger.

I have multiple group blogs (in case you hadn’t noticed) and I can’t blog on them right now because Blogger has switched over to its new version and I’m not allowed to join the club because apparently my personal blog is too fat. Talk about sizest behavior. Jerk-heads!

For the most part, I wouldn’t care, but the group blog thing is where I hit my snag. I can’t post on the group blogs because they’ve all moved over to new Blogger. And new Blogger can blog on old Blogger but not vice versa. And I’m stuck in old Blogger. See the issue? Yeah, it sucks stagnant pond water.

I am not a happy camper today. And, as is typical with me, I’m not afraid to whine about it in public.

So, here’s me…pissy because it’s been almost a month and I still can’t switch. Feeling fat and unwanted because I can’t join the club of new Bloggerdom.

Happy Freaking Monday.

What do people envy about you? Find out here! And am I really that compassionate? I’d like to think so, but in real life…probably not.

Ah, well. The accuracy of these quizzes constantly blows me away.

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others’ happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

So I debated what to put up here today and finally went with videos the Mad Madam M showed me on YouTube the last time I saw her.

These feature Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live. One is his advertising for abreakfast restaurant called Omletville (where he’s, get this, dressed as an omelet) and the second has him masquerading as a Cup O’ Soup.

My girl Loribelle Hunt has a book releasing later today. It’s the third in her so-awesome, kick-ass Lunar Mates series. Check it out.

Blurbage: Jackson has issues. His most trusted friends are gone, his Beta is convinced another werewolf stole his mate, someone in the pack is trying to steal his job, and his woman is on the run. When all his problems rush together on a collision course, will he find the strength to come out on top?

Go buy it!

AND, I’m having such a crap week that I needed a laugh. I’ve decided to share my findings with you. Don’t you feel special?

See? This is why I don’t eat breakfast pastries. Ewwwwww. Slimy, baby.

I totally get the Mona Lisa smile now. There’s a fish tickling her…never mind. I thought it was funny.

Yes. Clowns really are evil. Enough said.

Okay, this one was just COOL. I couldn’t resist it. It even kind of looks like the underwater cities I have pictured in my head for Aquatilis (which will be featured in the fourth Wereplanets book).

Dude!

I am so freaking stalled out on Every Witch Way right now. I have no idea what the hell to do with this story, I really don’t. In my defense, my grandma is in the hospital (again–2nd time in as many weeks) and I’ve developed a wicked case of insomnia. Not much is going on with me except critiques for other writers and editing. No writing here. No forward progress.

I’m not whining, just really tired. Cross your fingers for Grams. I’m worried about her.

In other news, I’m pondering new ideas in the dark paranormal field. They aren’t firm enough to start talking about, but I have some thoughts brewing.

Then again, when DON’T I have 5 or 6 ideas going at one time. It’s almost unnatural.

I blogged about weird questions, sex-perts, and sex-ploit confessionals over at Shadows of Passion today. Go read!

Now, on to the main event. The super extended pirate edition of Hump Day Hotties! (This was inspired by my friend and fellow author Shelli Stevens, so let’s take a moment to say a big THANKS to Shelli!)

First we have the classic pirate in Captain Kidd. Black and white yumminess.

Then we have Matthew Modine from Cutthroat Island. He was disreputable, deceitful and hot. What more do you want in a pirate?

Next is the ever-gorgeous Dread Pirate Roberts from the Princess Bride. Tell me he’s not hot.

And the one you’ve all been waiting for, the smack down of ultimate pirate hottiness is Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

Told ya it was an extended edition! Happy Hump Day!

I have a couple of little public service announcements today.

First, Cobblestone Press has a new forum, and they gave me my own Flying Saucer to play in. Y’all are invited to come hang out with me! Also, we have a ton of other stuff there, such as a library of resources on historical terms and other research stuff. I know some people HATE the research, so go check it out. Plus, all my Cobblestone Press girls are way nice.

But, in the end, it’s all about me and you KNOW you want to read the “rules” I set down for conduct on my Flying Saucy–uh, Saucer!

http://cobblestone-mainstreet.com

The second bit of loveliness is a workshop on writing historical romance. It goes from January 1-7 (yeah, yeah, I’m late with this one). I’ll be over there and I hope you all can come check it out!

Go here to participate: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cobblestone-workshop

I’ll be posting later today over at The Novelty Girls about the new goals for the new year.

Basically, I have a whole crapload of things I want to get done this year. I have no idea when or if I’ll get any of it done, but I intend to try! Wish me luck.

I hope all of you have a great start to the new year.

While I was in California, I whacked more of my hair off, so it’s pretty short now. I’m home in Utah again though. Had a very nice, easy flight back to Salt Lake City. When I got here though, the crowds of people trying to leave wrapped around the building. And the ski-bunnies were coming in in droves. I got whcked in the shin with skis TWICE. Bastards! Watch where you’re going with those things! Sheesh.

Outside of that, it’s good to be home. I love the family, but after a while there this overstimulation that you need to retreat from. Escape! Escape! Run for your life! That kind of thing. Im sure y’all know what I mean.

Anyway, enough of my rambling.

Happy Birthday 2007! May you be better to me than 2006!