Is it Friday yet?

I’ve woken up every single day this week asking myself that question. And, thus far, the resounding answer has been negatory. I also haven’t been sleeping well..or at all.

FYI: when I’m sleep deprived it’s just a party foul to take pictures of me while I’m snarfing down Mexican food. I am now contemplating the demise of a co-worker. Codename: Persnickety Hooch.

To taunt myself, I found comics of people sleeping. Let me tell you, at this point I could sleep anywhere.

Wait…is it Friday yet?

Blogging over at Shadows of Passion today. Check it out!

A few weeks ago I ran across and truly disturbing photo shoot for what of my favorite hot actors. His name is Jason Behr and he used to play in a television show called Roswell.

I just had to share. Sorry, all! It’s kinda hot, you know?

See, now that’s a man who ready, willing and waiting for me.

Oh, yeah. He wants me. Who’s your mommy?

And that’s the money shot right there.

It’s like half BDSM and half Hamlet-with-skull photo shoot.

Yes, that’s it…make love to the helmet.

Take it all off, baby. Do it. You know you want to.

Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d use: I wanna be that cigarette when I grow up.

So, Arnie of the handyman fame came over yesterday to finally fix the hole in my bathroom ceiling. He couldn’t do it last week because it needed to dry out in there. That’s a mental image I don’t want to dwell on.

However, I did find out some fun facts about Handyman Arnie.

1. He wears red underwear. Not accidentally-put-a-new-red-tshirt-in-with-the-whites kinda pink panties, but really, really red.
2. His bald head is really shiny. I think he might wax and/or polish it.
3. He’s not much of a talker, so I can watch movies while he’s there and he doesn’t care. Thank God. I’m not the hostess with the mostest, so this is a relief.

He has to COME BACK TO MY HOUSE in two days to finish the job. So I have to give up yet another afternoon to sit around waiting for the handyman. I don’t have much of a social life, but I do like to be flexible in where I can spend my time.

Dammit.

I’m not bitter. Nope, nuh-uh, not at all.

I’m blogging over at The Novelty Girls today.

I also did a quiz post over the Mad Madam M’s blog.

And tell me this one doesn’t make you shiver in horror:

Yeeeeah. I’ve mentioned that I’m half-British, right? So not surprised by this. I’m betting I can guess what my southern belle friend Loribelle Hunt would get on this one.

Your Slanguage Profile

British Slang: 75% Canadian Slang: 75% Prison Slang: 75% Aussie Slang: 50% Victorian Slang: 50% Southern Slang: 25%

My first dark paranormal book releases today from Cobblestone Press. Check it out!

Rue Daniels’ ability to talk to ghosts–revenants–has gotten her thrown into a mental institution. It has also made her a target for recruitment. Both the CIA Revenant Division and their enemies want her on their side. John Weston is a revenant, and the CIA’s top agent. He’s been sent to protect her, train her…and use her. Love was a distraction they couldn’t afford.

Buy it here!

In other news: find out why the Mad Madam M and I are best friends.

So…the disaster?

I came home to find I had water back. Woot!

I also came back to find a BIG, MONDO HUGE hole in my bathroom ceiling where they cut through to fix the leaking pipe from my upstairs neighbor’s bathroom.

Had to call the handyman to book an appointment for today. Guess the handyman’s name? He has the most handyman-ish name EVER.

Arnie.

Dude, I’m gonna laugh until I cry if he has scary plumber-butt flashing from the awe-inspiring weight of his handymanly tool belt.

So, last night my pipes broke in my apartment. Water was running down both sides of the wall that connect my bathroom and kitchen.

Steps in Crystal’s Disaster Management Plan:

1. Call the landlord and report the problem. Am put on hold.
2. Speak to upstairs neighbor and see if her pipes were leaking. Answer: no.
3. Am asked if I mind a plumber entering my house in the morning while I am not there. Answer: sure, but stay away from my porn collection.
4. Am informed that the water to the entire building must be shut off until a plumber can be called in the morning, and I must walk around the building and alert neighbors to the impending shut down.
5. Take a quick hose down shower and brush teeth, fill a water bottle so I can brush my teeth in the morning and thus not offend the delicate sensibilities of the students I have to teach.
6. Knock on every door in the building wearing fire engine red flannel pajamas with Dalmations and fire hydrants on them (they were a gift and they’re cute, dammit!)
7. Piss all over everyone’s evening at 11PM.
8. Mild hysteria and panic ensues among the neighbors as they rush to fill water jugs and hose themselves down in Army style showers.
9. Am directed by landlord on how to find the main shut off valve and am told it is obvious. Response: not true, and you still can’t touch my porn collection. Must test multiple valves before I find the right one.
10. Forget I promised neighbors 30 minutes of water before shut off.
11. Shut off water.
12. Neighbors come screeching half-dressed and sopping wet out of apartments thinking the pipes have burst.
13. Inform neighbors this was a test, and only a test, and they should go back to rationing water.
14. Crawl into bed with visions of flooding and insurance claims dancing in my head.

Overall rating of Crystal’s disaster management skills: C-

In good news, I got the cover for my historical romance called A Lesson in Pleasure. He’s pretty, no? Half-nekked man is niiiiice.