For those of you nosy ass womens who wanna know. (Or who whined at me to caaaaaall them after the date *cough*Jen*cough*) Here’s the basic run down on my date with The Peruvian.

I get dressed in my new outfit, put on make up and hope like hell it’s not too much and I don’t look clown-like. Bitch slap my inner insecurities wench into submission long enough to get from the house to the coffee shop parking lot. She makes a strong comeback and I have a minor panic attack and want to crawl back in the car and make a run for it. The Peruvian hasn’t seen me yet…he doesn’t know I’m not really in a car accident or coming down with malaria.

Manage to force myself to walk into the coffee shop and thank gawd it’s not crowded so I spot him right away. Whew. So now I know he’s not going to claim a car accident or malaria. Very good thing. We have coffee and nice conversation. Then he asks me to a movie. We go see a French film called The Valet.

Him: What movie do you want to see?

Me: Um, this is an indy art house theatre…I’ve never even heard of these.

Him: We’ll just go to whatever’s playing next.

Me: Okay.

Him: *buys tickets* What kind of movies do you like?

Me: Anything but horror.

Him: Oh, good. Me, too.

Me: Since neither of us know what this movie is about, how do we know it’s not horror?

Him: *long pause* We can always leave if it’s scary.

Me: *silently grateful there’s no need to pretend bravery*

FYI: Romantic comedy. Toooootally hilarious, I highly recommend you go see it.

Afterward he asks me to dinner. So, ya know. A very successful first date…which was just for coffee. Happy Saturday!

I’ve got peeps releasing today. Check ‘em both out. They do good work. And they’re nice. And it’s so much better to buy from nice people. I think. It’s too damn early in the morning for thinky-thinking.

Divine Intervention III: Triple Play by Jennifer McKenzie

Danielle Laskey hasn’t given up on love, she hasn’t believed in it for years. A horrible experience in her past keeps her distant and bitter. Her soul mate, Christopher Jeffers is coaching her daughter on his high school baseball team reluctantly. On opposing sides of several issues, it seems a hopeless assignment. Can Thomas, with the help of other Guardian Angels, bring these two stubborn people together?

Buy it here!

Available from June 07 [UK] & August 07 [US]

SUITE SEVENTEEN – Portia Da Costa

Acting purely on instinct, I coil my arms around him. I can’t believe this is happening and I can’t believe what I’m doing. This new, different, impatient me takes the initiative and presses her tongue against his lips, demanding entrance.

He laughs, the sound deep and rough in his chest, and he admits me. Then a second later, it’s like he throws a switch and he takes total control.

When vibrant, forty-something widow Annie Conroy espies her new neighbours Maria Lewis and Robert Stone having kinky sex in their back garden, she decides it’s time that she too woke up and smelt the erotic roses. And where better to begin her daring adventures than the luxurious Waverley Grange Country Hotel, and its hidden den of iniquity, the chintz-clad but wickedly pervy Suite Seventeen? Under the stern but playful eye of exotic master Valentino, Annie quickly discovers the shocking hidden depths of her own sensuality, and surrenders herself body and soul to his outrageous games of power.

But when the Waverley’s entire future hangs in the balance, and Annie has the means to help save it, dare she gamble on going one step further… and giving her heart to the mysterious man who’s come to control her?

‘I am grinning from ear to ear having savoured every last dripping word… ‘ – Ann, poet and blogger

ISBN 0352341092

Published by Black Lace in June 2007 [UK] and August 2007 [US]

Read an excerpt at PortiaDaCosta.com [NB. excerpt is NC 17 and suitable for adults only]

Suite Seventeen is available from Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com

————–

Portia Says: Available now for UK Readers… enjoy!!!

Welcome to the first week of the Boys of Summer. It’s very pretty.

Mad Madam M: Laird Hamilton is just pretty. That is really all that can be said. Sure he’s an ambassador of surfing and blah blah blah. Again I say…PRETTY!!!

Crystal: Exactly. Like I care that he’s all good, and famous, and stuff…just keep your shirt off!

Mad Madam M: “…and this is the kid my partner and I just adopted from an orphanage in Russia…”

Sorry, whenever I see this pic, I see that caption in my head. Anyway you look at it though, Laird and Dave Kalama are easy on the eyes! Oh so very easy!

Crystal: Oh my gosh…I’ll never lookat this pic the same. Damn you, M!

Mad Madam M: So the design on the surf board behind him makes it looks like he has a funky ponytail or something. To be perfectly honest, it isn’t his hair I am looking at. Heeelllooo abs!!!

Crystal: That, ladies and gents, is called a treasure trail. *bow chica bow bow*

Mad Madam M: Not sure why I find this images so pretty, but I do. Now if only their shirts could be removed using photoshop, I would have it made!! Damn my elementary knowledge of photoshop!

Crystal: A group montage of pretty. Definitely would have been better with less clothes *forlorn sigh*

Mad Madam M: I think I may be in love with Bruce Irons and his manly stubble…

Crystal: I love black and white photography…it makes everything, including manly stubble, just, ya know, prettier.

Mad Madam M: Ok…perhaps it is Andy Irons I love. Even if he almost a bit too ripped. I’m mesmerized. He’s just so pretty… *nods*

Crystal: “Too ripped”? What is this you speak of? There is no such thing in my language.

Mad Madam M: *guh*
Sorry, but I think I might have to change my mind again. I think I’m infatuated with Kelly Slater. Definitely Kelly Slater…

*takes a moment to figure out if ESPN shows surfing anytime soon since I am totally a avid fan of the sport now–and, besides, curling season is over*

Crystal: Surfing, yes. Curling, no. Bad. That is a sport for beer-swilling Canadians. The ones too out of shape for hockey. Stick to surfing, M. The scenery is better.

Mad Madam M: Oh Keanu…I hate to admit it, but I kind of liked Point Break. *shh…don’t tell anyone! I have to keep some of my street cred*

Crystal: I liked Point Break. Don’t feel bad, M. We can be dorks together (as usual). And Keanu is also in need of less clothing here.

Mad Madam M: Ah, Matthew…while others may adore you for you…I adore you for your body. If only I could use it as my own personal jungle gym…

Crystal: Yes. I agree. Yum.

Mad Madam M: So, he’s wearing a bit too much, but check out those guns! Oh and who can resist a water drenched Jake Gyllenhaal? Wow I actually spelled his name right without looking it up!

*swoons from shock at both my spelling genius and in adoration of Jake’s muscles*

Crystal: Man, he’s pretty. I just can’t say it enough. You can have Matthew if I can have Jake. I’m just puttin’ that out there.

I went to the eye doctor’s yesterday and it looks like the eyes–as bad as the prescription is–are healthy. Quite the relief that I’m not getting blinder. If my vision got much worse, we’d have to rig some sonar to me, because I’d be bat-like in my blindness.

However, this also means it’s time for new specs. I love getting new glasses, they’re my one accessory. I’m not big on make-up or jewelry or…well, anything girlie. I leave the bling (though discreet) to Mad Madam M. She looks better in it anyway.

I’m also thinking I might give contacts a try again. My last failed attempt at them crashed and burned because it felt like there were rocks in my eyeballs at all times and I was constantly hosing them down with eyedrops. So, we’ll see how the whole new world looks from the other side of my new specs…stay tuned.

I’m over at The Novelty Girls doing more of my horny haiku.

Come on over!

Before we get to the quiz, I wanna say that there’s a Contest Parade going on at the Cobblestone Press forum today. You have the opportunity to win a TON of free books and other wicked-cool prizes (including a copy of Wereplanets: In Smoke). So go check it out!

On to the quiz! And that’s right…only the Mad Madam M knows all the gory details!

Your Mouth is a Little Big

You’re not a total tell all, but you don’t hide who you are either. You’ve struck a good balance between discretion and sharing. People know you fairly well, at least on a superficial level. But you save your most revealing secrets for your best friend… or no one!

From 2-10PM EST, The Novelty Girls will be having crazy-wild fun over at Joyfully Reviewed.

We’ll be giving away prizes, showing off excerpts from our newest releases, and generally running amok to cause some serious mayhem.

Come hang out with us!

As always, a l’il bit of pimpage on Friday…only this week it’s for me! Woot woot! So be a good girl (or guy, I know some of you are out there!) and go buy it. Because you love…and because I said so.

And don’t forget to come chat with me tonight from 7-9 CENTRAL TIME in the Cobblestone Chat room. I’ll be giving away books! Here’s the link.

Wereplanets: In Smoke comes out from Cobblestone Press

Check it out here!

Blurbilicious:

When Lady Katryn’s ambassador father dies, she’s called back to her
home world of Harena to join Lord Nadir’s harim. Raised among
weretigers, she knows little about her own weredragon nature, but she
fears she’ll never find love as one of many wives.

Lord Tarkesh, the man escorting her to the weredragon capital city,
awakens a fiery passion in her that leaves them both forever changed.
When she finds that a harim on Harena is not one man with many mates,
but a three-way mating, and that Tarkesh is the other man in Nadir’s
harim, she feels betrayed by a man she has come to love so quickly.
More surprising is her reaction to the commanding Nadir. He is a man
who demands her heart, and she’s uncertain how long she can deny
either of them.

Wereplanets: In The Flames is a mini Wereplanets story inside the CPQ
Magazine

Check this out right here!

Blurbi-lurv:
Prince Taymullah has been made Regent of the weretiger planet,
Vesperi, while is elder brother is away on the annual trade run. It’s
important that he not upset the balance of power among the weretiger
prides during his temporary reign. But his hand is forced when the
woman he loves is bethrothed by her father to another man. What would
Taymullah risk for love?