Today is the tribute to all things Australian and New Zealand.
Mad Madam M: Oh Jesse…while you look a bit camp in that tank top I really don’t mind. I’ve loved you in things a whole lot campier…like that Swiss Family Robinson miniseries Stranded! Good times, my friends. Good times!
Crystal: Isn’t he on House? I have no idea. He’s pretty. That’s all I need to know.
Mad Madam M: It is medically impossible for Dominic Purcell to button a shirt…if only Wentworth suffered from the same condition, every woman in America would be watching Prison Break.
Crystal: They are the second prettiest brothers on television…right after the brothers on Supernatural. It’s a religious experience.
Mad Madam M: *giggling* Sorry, I can’t help but laugh at the fact that Wenty is sitting on his coat jacket. But see what I mean about the shirt…I don’t think buttons can handle close proximity to Linc’s chest!
Crystal: It’s his super power. To make buttons fly off his shirt. Everyone needs a super power.
Mad Madam M: While many people know Julian from Nip/Tuck, he was the only redeeming part of Fantastic Four. I just kept my eyes fixed on him and thought of England!
Crystal: He was in The Profiler. I loved that show.
Mad Madam M: Sure he has all sorts of problems, but the boy knows how to play a guitar, sing, and adds fake hand claps to song. To be honest, that is all I really need to know!
Crystal: He’s one of my fave country singers. It’s just that much nicer that he’s pretty, isn’t it?
Mad Madam M: *attempts to blink but unable to do so* Oh the pretty!! *gives up and goes to look for eye drops in order to continue staring*
Crystal: Nice arms. And pecs. And…just fill in the blank with a body part and I’m there.
Mad Madam M: I’m guessing I will be all alone on this one, but for me, he was the only redeemable aspect of Coyote Ugly. *ducks to avoid incoming projectiles*
Crystal: I liked the soundtrack to that movie. The rest of it was…kind of dull. He did add a certain festivity to the movie though.
Mad Madam M: Oh how I love twofers…and boy is this one worth it. You get both Russel and Guy and in beautiful black and white!! (P.S. If you have never seen L.A. Confidential go and watch it at once. I can easily entertain myself with the pretty until you return!!)
Crystal: I’ll add it to the list of movies you think I should watch and I never will unless you sit me in front of a tv and force me to take time out of my life.
Mad Madam M: Oh Daisy…you are quite pretty on the eyes. Especially in 300 even if you did only have 1 eye by the end of the flick. Your awesomely ripped abs more than made up for the loss.
Crystal: It still cracks me up that Daisy is his nick name.
Mad Madam M: While not the best lean in the world, I would still give it an 8 out of 10. That’s a solid B and nothing to be ashamed of.
Crystal: Leaning is good. I like leaning. Now, if he put me between him and the wall and leaned that way, I’d be happy.
Mad Madam M: Even without the wig from LOTR or the leather coat from Bourne I would still willing lick every inch of your body. Call me!
Crystal: Amen.
Mad Madam M: He really did Rock Me!
Crystal: He’s very pretty…he just never seems to get the hair right. I can never figure that out. Doesn’t he have stylists for that?
Mad Madam M: *in a fake announcer voice* Let me present Flight of the Conchords! If you have never watched them or heard one of their songs go to YouTube right now and watch some of their videos. I can wait! *pulls out iPod in order to listen to music while I waiting*
Crystal: They’re funny. Really funny.
Mad Madam M:
Dear Hugh,
Can I call you Hugh or should I have used Mr. Jackman instead? Oh too late now, what’s done is done . I just wanted to write to let you know that I think you should try not to be so attractive and talented all the time. You are making other hot leading men look bad with all your action/singing/dancing skills…especially the other people in the X-Men flicks (with the exception of Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen of course.) Anyhoo, you also seem like a really nice guy which doesn’t help. Nice guys never finish first unless you are Tom Hanks or Ron Howard. Perhaps you should meet up with Russell Crowe and see if you can work on your angry, douche-bag skills.
Love Alway,
Mad Madam M
P.S. On second thought…don’t change a thing! Like Mr. Rodgers would have said: I like you just the way you are!
Crystal: I’d do him against the wall. Him and the leaning tower of Daisy.
