1. Stranded for hours on the side of the road in the Nevada desert while on the way to Las Vegas.

2. Chased out of a rest stop bathroom by a skunk. And, dude, I REALLY had to pee.

3. Had lunch with Gena Showalter and gushed over her newest release at the time, then asked later if she’d ever written a book with a shape-shifter in it. Didn’t understand the weird look she gave me until an hour down the freeway when I realized the book I had gushed over HAD A SHAPE-SHIFTER IN IT.

4. Almost missed a flight to an interview because I fell in the slippery when wet area of the bathroom and my stuff scattered. Including my boarding pass.

5. Had a chick hold my hand for 3 hours on a flight because she was afraid of turbulence. Nice lady, but she smelled kinda…special.

6. Had the talking child of doom next to me ALONE on a flight. I don’t know if it was because we both had curly hair, but they stranded me with her so I fetched her milk and held the door to the bathroom closed for her because she was afraid to lock it. This is why I’ll never breed.

7. Walked in on a dude who didn’t lock the airplane door doing a leetle more than peeing to relieve himself. I think you know what I’m talking about. Really, it was only a 2 hours flight…he couldn’t wait?

8. Stranded for hours on the side of the road in the Nevada desert while on the way to Reno. (Sense a pattern? Nevada clearly wants a piece of me)

9. Stuck overnight in Houston due to weather when there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was a “mechanic problem” they didn’t want to ‘fess up to and pay for a hotel for everyone. Do not get me started.

10. Stopped at a rest stop in California that, no shit, called it’s port-o-potties The Honey Pots. Um…that was not QUITE the same smell one would expect from honey pots, you know?

11. Got lost in a very BAD part of Little Rock, Arkansas at 3AM trying to find a Super Walmart. Don’t ask. It was my cousin’s fault.

12. Had a very scary man offer to buy my cousin from me in the very bad part of town in Little Rock. I had to pass. I wasn’t one hundred percent convinced he’d treat her well or had the same religious background as she does. It just wouldn’t have worked out between them, I don’t think. Then again, he could have been the love of her life. The world will never know.

Plus, I have a no-returns policy that I wasn’t sure he’d respect. He looked like the type who’d try and get a refund on goods he’d damaged.

13. A dude who was naked and VERY happy to see me waved is wang at me out the window. Seriously. I could not make this shit up.

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