Crystal Jordan :: Blog

Today’s Hump Day Hotties is brought to you by the letter B and the number 14. Random things that the Mad Madam M and I associate with the letter B.

(‘B’en Foster)

Mad Madam M: The film sucked. I’m sorry it really did. However, Ben Foster was one hot Angel mutant dude.

Crystal: Man titty! I love it when we start with that.

(Christian ‘B’ale who is the awesome ‘B’atman)

Mad Madam M: Is it July 18th yet? Is it now?!?!?! What about now?!?!?!

Crystal: The previews for the next Batman movie are just a tease. It’s so not right.

(Tom ‘B’rady)

Mad Madam M: While I like Peyton Manning better – he’s one funny dude – Tom Brady is kind of hunky. Even while carrying a farm animal. That’s some pretty resilient hunkiness there!!

Crystal: yes, because we all know how you feel about barnyard animals. Especially when they’re shape-shifters.

(Adam ‘B’rody)

Mad Madam M: Ah Seth…where have you gone?

Crystal: I don’t know, but he really needs to come back.

(‘B’enjamin ‘B’ratt – a twofer!!)

Mad Madam M: I love muscles…pretty, pretty muscles!!!

Crystal: I think we should see more of them. Take the shirt off. Just do it. You’ll thank me later.

(Jamie ‘B’amber)

Mad Madam M: Like you thought I would avoid a chance to oggle Bamceps. Silly readers…

Crystal: Ooooh, he even looks a little greasy and dirty. I like that.

(Gerard ‘B’utler)

Mad Madam M: *wipes drool from monitor*

Crystal: He is ten shades of pretty, isn’t he?

(David ‘B’eckham)

Mad Madam M: I think I may have used this pic before, but can you blame me for putting it up again. I mean it is Beckham wearing wife-beaters.

Crystal: And we know how much you lurrrrrv the wife-beaters. The shirt…um…not the real thing. Of course. Moving on!

(Adam ‘B’aldwin)

Mad Madam M: Your welcome, Crys!

Crystal: Yeah, baby! One of my Firefly guys!

(David ‘B’oreanaz who currently stars in ‘B’ones)

Mad Madam M: Man do I love a good lean!

Crystal: That is a very lucky door.

(Daniel Craig aka Mr. ‘B’ond)

Mad Madam M: Well hello Mr. Bond…

Crystal: Shake me, stir me, take me hard. I’m game.

(‘B’rendan Fraser)

Mad Madam M:
Dear Brendan,
Why are you doing this to me?!?!? I’m trying so hard to keep it together. I keep telling people I am handling the television writers strike well and then you go and have your hunky self fondle a tellie set. How am I expected to keep a brave face when you make me think about it in such seductive terms? I mean, please help a girl out because we all know I need as much help as I can get!
Affectionately Yours (given that you stop taking pictures with tellies),
Mad Madam M

Crystal: There, there. The writer’s strike won’t go on forever, M. The shows will come back.

(‘B’rad Pitt)

Mad Madam M: *guh*

Crystal: There are no words. Brad Pitt, few clothes, and caffeine. Mmmmmmmm.

(‘B’o'b’b'y Cannavale – a trifler! )

Mad Madam M: I never knew he looked so much like Clive and we all know that ain’t a bad thing!

Crystal: Exactly! We get Clive with the letter C, though. And that’s next in the alphabet. Hooray!