I don’t usually talk about the negatives of my live, especially not in a public forum like this one. Y’all don’t want to hear me whine, and that’s just not the kind of energy I want to put out in the world. I mean, really, my life is pretty awesome over all.
But.
Today was a craptastic day at work.
Totally. Craptastic.
The kind of day that makes you wish you could go postal on co-workers. Or just that you’d called in sick. I would have dearly loved to call the day a do-over and made all kinds of other choices. I’m just saying.
So, instead of getting specific in my bitch about librarian life, I wanted to explain how I deal with it as a writer. It is really hard to come home from a long day of work on any regular day and be creative and make my wordcount. It’s hard to the 12th power on days like today where things spiraled down the tubes.
So, how do I deal?
Well, the truth is, some days I just can’t. I do my best, but sometimes I only manage to haul my carcass into my apartment, collapse in bed, and call to vent to the Mad Madam M. No writing gets done. I have a policy most of the time to leave work at work, but days like today make that impossible sometimes. Normally, I force myself to push through, like I did today. Since I write out of order, when days like this happen, I tend to skip right to the black moment of my book, or a fight scene, or better yet, a death scene. A really gory one if the book calls for it. Basically, I write out the bad day, and pour all that awful, negative, ugly energy into something that will give me something to show for it when it’s all over.
I 100% know how you feel. I usually have a few beers on those days.
then a few more.
by December May 21st, 2008 at 7:22 amwell, I don’t have an evil-day-job, but I have four kids, a husband, a 150 year old house, and possibly the dumbest dog on the planet. On the days when it all gets to me…I find that I tend to write something angsty. Often, not on a project I’m working on seriously…because the tone won’t match up…but I’ll sketch out a scene I’ve had in mind, or I’ll do a stream-of-consciousness sort of thing…
Either way, it’s usually violent and rather bleak. Yknow, completely unlike what I normally write and all.
by dayna May 21st, 2008 at 7:23 amDecember: Ah, I wish! But I’m not a big drinker–as all the people who go to Nationals and mock me will attest.
Dayna: You? Write bunny rabbits with fangs? *shocked face*
by Crystal Jordan May 21st, 2008 at 7:24 amI just don’t write on those days. Not much help, am I?
by gwen hayes May 21st, 2008 at 8:32 amOh my gosh. I’m so sorry Crys! I know what you mean, though!
*sends you better day tomorrow vibes*
by Dana May 21st, 2008 at 8:38 amFor me that’s the hardest part of writing and what takes me so long to write. Also I don’t have the typical 9-5 job, my hours are 4p-12a.
But my job is very stressful right now and I’m usually very busy and there’s been so drama going on at work and fear of lay offs.
So how do I deal? Most days I don’t. I plot/plan in my head my stories or take a break and use my tape recorder and talk the story out. But if it gets so busy that I can’t do any of that. I try to write when I come home or in the morning, on the weekends, during errands while dealing with the other aspects of my life. For me, it’s difficult cause I don’t have a CP to send stuff too, help push me or crack the whip. It’s not for lack of trying but I haven’t found the right relationship or we haven’t really clicked and with the day job and my hours it makes it difficult to forge an adequate, viable, working CP relationship.
Lately though, I’ve had to forgo sleep in order to write. I just don’t know how good it is, but at least I’m getting something down.
by Angeleque Ford May 21st, 2008 at 8:39 amGwendy: Ah, well. You know I’m OCD about making my wordcount, though!
Dana: Thanks! I actually wrote this post last night, so today is going well. Yesterday? Notsomuch.
Angeleque: *hugs* Good luck! Finding a good balance can SUCK.
by Crystal Jordan May 21st, 2008 at 8:39 amCrystal, that’s a great way to do channel your energy. I can’t complain because I have an awesome job for writing: no commuting, time to work in between waiting for responses on things (like now). So I’ve learned to write in spurts.
But the bad thing is, when work is craptastic, it’s not the time issue. It’s the mental block. I zone. I veg out by watching reality TV reruns on Bravo…reruns, not even the original showings. Then when my brainwaves go flat, I can usually pick up the writing again. Reality TV doesn’t foster creativity but it sure does wipe your head blank of the day’s frustrations, at least for me.
by Chi May 21st, 2008 at 8:59 amChi–yeah, getting past the distractions of things you could do to avoid the writing is always hard, and then on a bad day, it becomes irresistibly shiny and pretty.
by Crystal Jordan May 21st, 2008 at 9:10 amWhen I worked a day job, whether I worked from home or was working outside the home, I wrote whenever I could, it was an escape, a need, a drive. Now that I homeschool my kids, and take care of hearth and home, a husband, and three dumb cats, when stress gets to me, I either leave and go up to the coffeeshop and write, chit chat for a couple of hours, go for a walk and plot with my gf, or go upstairs and just read a romance or a craft book, watch some dumb romantic comedy or something, escape until I can calm my brain enough to concentrate on a scene…sometimes though, I’ll just write a frustrated dialogue scene that may not go anywhere in any story, but helps me vent…
~lissa
by lissa May 21st, 2008 at 10:18 amMy job isn’t hard, at all, and I do (generally speaking) have time to write during my now 16 hour shift (evil job). On most days, I do write at least something, even if it’s not much.
But yeah, on those stressful I-hate-the-world/my-job days, it’s hard to find a good balance and sometimes I just can’t. I think, in the last month, I’ve only had a few days where I haven’t written, so maybe I’m finding a semi-decent balance.
Sorry about your bad day yesterday (and for my long post). I’m glad today is going better!
by Lanie Fuller May 21st, 2008 at 11:20 amThanks, Lanie! It’s good to know I’m not the only one who tries to push through, but sometimes just ends up going GAH!
by Crystal Jordan May 21st, 2008 at 11:22 amThere must have been something going around yesterday. :(
I write full time and have pretty much trained myself to write whether I feel like it or not. On a bad day I might not have quite as high a word count but I still write. I like your idea of writing a dark scene at these times. I write linear, but I might try that in future.
I’m glad today is better for you. I hope mine is too!
by Shelley Munro May 21st, 2008 at 12:59 pmHope today is better, too, Shelley! It sucks!
by Crystal Jordan May 21st, 2008 at 1:00 pmBig HUGS!!! I’m sorry your day sucked so bad. Here’s hoping tomorrow is better. And in the meantime, I hope you’re inspired to do some very nasty things to some fictional bad guys who deserve it :)
Or you could do what I do–watch some ridiculous, cheesy show on TV.
by Tawny May 21st, 2008 at 3:34 pmHee! We all have our coping mechanisms.
by Crystal Jordan May 21st, 2008 at 3:35 pmOh man, this was yesterday, and here I was crying and bitching on your shoulder. You should’ve told me to shut up and wait a day. ;) If it means anything, you didn’t sound like you had an awful day. But just so you know…I’m an awesome listener. :)
by Jennifer Bianco May 21st, 2008 at 8:29 pmHugs!
Hey, no worries…I’d made my word count by then, so my bad day was pretty much spent since I’d poured it all out on paper. We ALL have bad days and we have to let it out somehow, bitching, killing people off (in fiction, I swear!), etc.
by Crystal Jordan May 21st, 2008 at 9:16 pm