Crystal Jordan :: Blog

This just in from the Mad Madam M front! Her email is just TOO funny so I’m copying and pasting it below for your edification and amusement.

It took me an hour to vote this morning. An HOUR. And not because there was a large queue of civic minded individuals wishing to have their democratic voice heard…that I could have handled. Instead I think a untalented 3 Stooges Tribute Troupe decided it would be fun to try to run a polling place. I should note that I was also turning in absentee ballots for my parents, but still…AN HOUR!!!

Here’s breakdown of the events:

8am - I arrive at the polling place (local middle school) and marvel at the fact there are open spaces right next to the door. (I now realize it is because people could sense the incompetence and simply avoided the area entirely.)
8:09 - I finish voting.
8:10 - I start explaining to Polling Person #1 (PP#1) that I need to drop off two absentee ballots for my parents. (Note: My parents had already filled in my name and I had signed the envelope as well to certify that they wanted them dropped off at a polling place.)
8:15 - PP#1 and I get into a ‘discussion’ over whether or not I need to sign the “Make a Mark” section of the absentee ballot envelope (You know the place if you can’t sign you name where you are supposed to make a mark…)
8:17 - PP#1 is joined by PP#2 & PP#3 who all assure me I am supposed to sign there. However, PP#4 is on my side saying that would nullify the ballot.
8:20 - Manual is consulted by PP#2, PP#3 & PP#5, because yes it takes 3 people to look at one manual.
8:22 - No answer found…
8:25 - I start mentioning that I need to get to work, but I am told that if we don’t get this worked out they are going to throw the ballots in the trash, so I wait.
8:30 - The manual is still not providing an answer so PP#4 suggests calling the main polling place for the county.
8:32 - Phone number finally found… (See what I mean about the incompetence!)
8:35 - On hold
8:40 - Still on hold, although, PP#2 & PP#4 assure me that this should only take a minute
8:45 - Still on hold…
8:50 - FINALLY AN ANSWER!!! GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!!! MEEEEEEE!!!! FUCKING IDIOTS!!!! JUST READ THE FUCKING ENVELOPE!?!?!?!?!!?
8:51 - As I exit PP#1 asks if I want an “I Voted Sticker”. I take the sticker and refrain from adding “Damn right I want my sticker!”
8:52 - Get into my car to leave only to have school bus pull up behind and block my exit. It appears to be loading kids for a field trip to some sort of water park.
8:59 - Still waiting for punk-as kids to get on the bus…
9:01 - Finally I exit onto the street; the ordeal is finally over.

And they wonder why people don’t find the time to vote…