I’m over on The Smutketeers blaming Eden Bradley for making me become a smutty writer.

What? It’s totally all her fault. No, really. It is!

I went to see David Sedaris live last night. If you’ve never read his books or listened to his audiobooks, you really, really need to.

Try Holidays on Ice:

Or Me Talk Pretty One Day:

And those are just for starters. You reeeeally need to read his work. And it’s essays, so it’s short little segments, so it’s easy to digest.

When he first walked on stage, the lights were up in the theater. He covered his eyes, and begged into the microphone, “Can it be darker?” Long pause, nothing happens. Then he repeats, “No, really. Can it be darker?” Apparently, he has nightmares of being able to see his large audience and it’s better if he just pretends we’re not there. I guess he’s reading to a laugh track in his head?

The title of this post was one of his nods to Utah, and the audience almost died of laughter. Also, during the question and answer segment, the lights were in his eyes, so he kept pointing and calling on people who weren’t actually raising their hands to ask a question. The first time was funny, the fourth just had the audience rolling.

My favorite piece last night was about “Slave Monkeys” and his jealousy of being comedically upstaged by his little Slave Monkey, pictured here.

It was pretty much like this:

I added a new widget to my blog’s sidebar that will give you the updates from my Twitter account.

Thanks to Dayna for filling me in on that sweet bit of lovely goodness.

I also revamped my Twitter page…and I’m in the process of revamping The Novelty Girls’ website this week. We’re on hiatus until the 27th.

Okay, I think that’s all I’ve got for you. Happy Monday!

So, I didn’t get around to blogging yesterday because I was helping a friend out with her site.

That’s right, I converted yet another person over to the dark side of WordPress instead of HTML.

This was my first try with WordPressing a site all by myself (with a few frantic emails to the lovely Croco Designs) and ta-da! I took a freebie theme and customized it a bit to make Jennifer Leeland/Jennifer McKenzie’s new site of delight. Go lookit!

www.jenniferleeland.com

It’s purdy, huh? I done good.

To celebrate her awesomeness, she’s having a contest on her blog, so don’t forget to click the Blog link at the top of her site!

It occurred to me that we all have an internal list of what we want in Mr. Right. I’m dwelling on this because both M and I have decided to fling ourselves headlong back into the dating pool recently. Yes, I know, my family is going to think we broke up or something. Never fear, M and I remain as unlesbian as ever and still Just Friends. My family will someday get the memo, but I fear today is not that day.

Moving on!

So, requirements. I mean, I sit down when I come up with a heroine, and I make a list of all the things she needs in a man. Someone who is complimentary, but not too much alike or different. Someone who understand her issues. Someone who challenges her enough so that she (and he) will never become complacent.

I thought maybe I need a list of my own. Just a short one, with the major highlights I’m willing to reveal on the internet.

1) Intelligent. By this, I mean he doesn’t need to have the collection of university degrees I do (though bonus points if he does), but he needs to be curious about the world around him and want to constantly learn more about whatever interests him (double bonus points if he shares some of the same interests I do)

2) Humor. I love to laugh. If the guy doesn’t get my humor and think I’m funny, and vice versa with his humor, then I have found from very sad experience that we’re dead in the water. This is a must (bonus points if he’s good at making me laugh)

3) No children. This is a deal breaker. I don’t want kids, so if he does we’re at a rather life-defining impasse.

4) Insanity. I don’t want him to actually be insane, but if he’s going to survive my family gatherings, he better be able to hold his own against insane people (psychologists need not apply, I really don’t want to know what their official diagnosis is)

5) Strong. I am a hellaciously stubborn wench. I admit it. Hell, I own that shit. I’ve worked hard to build and maintain my stubborn skillage. That said, Mr. Right better be able to hold his own not just with my family, but with me. Pushovers would bore the bejesus out of me inside of an hour.

6) Non-douchebag. Another deal breaker. Douchebags need not apply. I can be a pain in the ass at times, but I think in general I’m a decent person, and I don’t want to date an asshat.

7) Friends. That’s right, he better know the value of good friends and he better be able to pass the friends-test. If the people who love me bestest see us together and raise the douchebag flag, then we might have a serious problem.

8) Chemistry. This one is less definable, but I’m sure you all can figure out why I want it. A lot.

So, there’s the list. *sigh* I’m going to be single forever, aren’t I? That kind of a man falls into the no-such-thing land of unicorns and fairy tales.

I’m doing my usual thing over at The Novelty Girls talking about a latest playlist for my work in progress. Come check it out!

Please join us at Romance Divas THIS WEEKEND!

Friday October 10th and Saturday October 11th, we will be joined by some huge names in fantasy and fantasy-romance for a workshop on what the difference really is between the two genres.

I went over a thousand posts a little bit ago and I never noticed.

I don’t know if that means I talk too much or I’m just clueless. Ah, well. Could be a bit of both.

There is some new news though! I totally spaced on mentioning it here until just now. (Okay, okay, so maybe it’s more of the clueless thing. Darn!)

I sold the third story in my In the Heat of the Night series to Samhain! The first one, Total Eclipse of the Heart just came out in the past week, the second, Big Girls Don’t Die, will be out in January, and the third (which just sold) is It’s Raining Men and will come out in April (I think).

So…woot!