Crystal Jordan :: Blog

And not only in my dreams, either!

I fly home today. California, here I come — right back where I started from! Yeay! By the time you read this post, I’ll be at my layover in Houston or maybe somewhere over Nevada, circling for a landing in Sacramento. Woo-hoo!

Plans for the holidays:
-Visit mom/step-dad on x-mas eve
-Have breakfast with grandparents on x-mas morning
-Visit dad/step-mom on x-mas (Hey, children of divorce have to multitask)
-Go on mini road trip with best buds for birthday (Dec. 28th, baby!)
-Sleep through New Year as I must fly out early Jan. 1

P.S. Grandma’s going to be okay! She’s not great, but we think she’ll be home from the hospital by Christmas. Yeay!!

My grandma is in the hospital. She’s having trouble breathing and the EKG showed something is wrong with her heart. I’m no medical professional, but that ain’t good. I don’t really have anything fun or amusing to say, I’m just tensely waiting for some news — this, this, is why I hate living so far from home. I can’t even be there to hold her hand or drive grandpa to the hospital for visits.

Thank God, I’m flying home tomorrow.

I’m putting a quiz up that I hope you will all find amusing. Goodness knows we could all use a laugh today, right?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone’s obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

(And I’ve actually seen all those movies. If you haven’t checked out Office Space, go rent it, like, right now!)

My dear family has heard more about my characters and book ideas than they have about me in the past month. They have been tolerant, thus far; but, how long can I possibly expect that to last?

The family has also given me some truly hideous ideas when I mistakenly asked for suggestions. Oh, dear. I hope they don’t expect to read about them when I send my rough drafts out for corrections.

I recently moved to a town so teeny tiny, with very little in the way of writers, that I have decided to use select members of my family/friends as my critique group. They like romance and have read broadly in the genre. Most importantly, I trust their opinions — so, for now, I think that’s the best I can do. I have no clue whether or not this is a good idea, but I’m stickin’ to it until I have proof it’s a bad one.

My friend Elia has recently added herself to the list who will receive the RD. I love to torture her and she hates romance. Mwah-ha-ha! I figure she’ll be good for a brutal outside opinion.

Is it totally normal to be almost done with the rough draft and go “this is the dumbest thing that’s ever been written, what were you thinking, no one in their right mind would even use this as toilet tissue, let alone actually READ it?” And that includes my family and friends who love me enough to read anything I write. Because that’s where I’m at today. I want to stop.

This sucks.

Then I called my grandma, queen of all romance novels, who introduced me to the joy of contemporary romance (mom is strictly historical). I returned the favor by showing her paranormal romance. We have a very fine relationship, grams and me.

But, this is beside the point. I called and told her that I was not going to finish my story and I wasn’t having fun anymore. She gave me the hairy eyeball and told me to get my a** back to it. We were on the phone and I may be in Tennessee and she may be in California, but I felt the hairy eyeball upon me.

The hairy eyeball is only one step below the death-ray glare. Grams’ hairy eyeball puts the fear of God into some people, but the death-ray glare has made grown men cry. Really. Grams is a sweet and soft-hearted woman, but you don’t mess with her. She will kill you and make it look like an accident.

So, I will continue to write and deny all knowledge of this incident in the future.

I don’t want to be cosmically b*tch-slapped by the death-ray glare.