Crystal Jordan :: Blog

So, I’ll be at a library conference in Denver this weekend, and I’m giving a wee presentation on how libraries are affected by social networking. If you don’t know what that is, it’s online things that help create a social network of friends…like MySpace, Blogs, and Facebook.

Not that I think you’re fascinated, but I’m a library nerd and it gets my juices flowing. Anyway, I’ll be gone…miss you already! *sniff*

Behave yourselves. So long, farewell!

So, the weather has been getting cooler here in Utah since the first of September. It’s as if September hit and the weather said, okay, summer’s over! Thanks for coming!

As a native Californian, this is a shock to me. Yeah, I get that it snows here and not where I’m from. I get that I’m in the mountains, but dang! I got dressed and stepped outside this morning, went “Holy crap, it’s cold!” and ran back inside for a sweater. This made me a leetle late for the forty million classes I’m teaching today. Another seventy million will be coming the rest of the week. (Can you feel the sarcasm emanating from my words here? Eeeeeexcellent. My evil plot to make the world a more facetious place is working.)

Anywho, if I’m distracted or just not here this week, you have been warned. My writing is going to suffer this week, I just know it. *whine, rant, moan*

Good news, bad news today. Bad news is a feel like cold dog dookie warmed over. I’m sick and I want to go home, suck my thumb, and cry to my grams. But I’m at the library and them’s the breaks.

On the good news front, I’m going to be the romance collector for the library. Sweet, no? Yes, they do have romance novels in university libraries. Love it, don’t you?

See you tomorrow, hopefully I feel better.

So, the Persnickety Hooch and I volunteered to give a tour of the library today for incoming students. Aww…lookit the leetle freshmans.

The problem? Um, the library is under construction so I have no clue where anything is because they keep moving crap. So…yeah…this is going to be fun.

I picture my roll here as that of comedy relief while the PH actually gives out some useful information on where to find shit in the library. I can do that. Court jester is a roll I’m comfortable with. I have no idea if they’ll lagh because they think I’m “challenged” or because they think I’m actually funny, but HEY. Does it really matter in the end if they laugh on cue? I think not!

Wish me luck!

Persnickety Hooch and I were stuck at a local conference for librarians the last few days and were more or less bored to tears. Here’s some photographic evidence of our journey through library land.

Me on day one during the keynote address by someone who talked about THE FUTURE OF LIBRARIES. By the end of the conference I’d made this phrase into a drinking game, because I heard it so often.

And I have no idea what my hair is doing in this picture. No. Idea.

PH and I on day two in the crack o’dawn morning. Note the bags under our eyes as we fake enthusiasm. We’re women, so faking it is something we have down pat.

Okay, I didn’t say we were convincing at faking it.

Me doing something crazy and cracking PH up. Hey, I hadda do something. By the end of the conference, I was ready to gouge my own eyeballs out just to ease the monotony.

Me trying to end it all by strangling myself with my conference name badge.

When that failed, PH was willing to lend a helping hand.

So, we’re creating online library tutorials at work right now. Not that you really care, but in case you have a sudden, mad desire to increase your research skills in a university library, this is something similar to what I’m talking about: here.

I’ve made tutorials before. But there were instructions on how to do ONE kind of slide that totally escaped me yesterday. I read the instructions. Clueless. Closed the office door so I could mutter about it under my breath. Worked on something else. Read the instructions again. Still, drawing a blank. Cussing ensued. Worked on another something else. Re-re-read the instructions. Nada. Zilch. Color me stooopid.

Thank God the office door is closed because random profanity starts popping from my mouth. If anyone could have heard me, they would have thought I had Tourettes Syndrome. Work some, read instructions, cuss, re-read instructions, cuss, think about instructions, cuss. At random. I did FINALLY have a mental break through at the end of the day, so it’s all good today, but I feel really lame because it was simple once the light bulb kicked on, but anyone who had witnessed my crap through the day would have thought I was the bartender in Boondock Saints (see video below if you have no clue what I’m talking about–then rent the movie).

I say again–thank God for office doors.

WARNING: This contains bad language. Don’t watch it at work unless your office door is closed.

Who knew the British could make a violent action-adventure buddy movie? And then make it satirical and funny? But then, no one does satire like the Brits.

It was awesome. Mad Madam M insisted that I go see Hot Fuzz, and let me tell you, it was well worth the price of admission.

I dragged my library partner in crime, the Persnickety Hooch, with me to the film and I think we both cracked up the whole way through. I loved the inside joke references to the last film by these two actor, Shaun of the Dead. Plus, the shots of Bad Boys II and Point Break were so gratuitous and lame that they were awesome. The gore was also so gratuitous as to be funny. Which is the same lovely feature one found in Shaun of the Dead (zombies take over the world and kill everyone–very yuck)

Also, there were some notable cameos by Peter Jackson, Cate Blanchett, and Bill Nye (I don’t promise any of these are spelled correctly).

Highly recommend this film. Take your suspension of reality with you, but it’s so worth it!

Here’s my first official post at my new WordPress blog. Welcome!

For some extra fun, here’s a few pics from dancing with the Persnickety Hooch on Thursday night.

The club she took me to is one where everyone dances (badly) by themselves. Persnickety Hooch actually has some rhythm, but there was one guy in lace and pearl with a black and white polka dot top and striped witch stockings that scared me with his…um…cool dance moves. Here’s me trying to escape the club.

Normally I wouldn’t show a pic that looks up my nose, but the polka dot guy in the background is our madcap dancer man.

And here’s the Persnickety Hooch and me cheesing it up for the camera after we got hit on boys young enough to be our students. We were sorta flattered (sorta) and a bit squicked out.

Yesterday I went with the Persnickety Hooch to her hair stylist. I have an awesome stylist in California (the home state–woot woot) who has made me pretty for twelve years. And this is really important for a fat chick. I mean, my hair is the one thing about my that I KNOW looks good and not just from a certain angle. It just looks good.

Persnickety Hooch proclaimed her hairdresser the most offensive person ever born, and I have to agree. He was freaking hilarious. I can see why she warns people before meeting him because he doesn’t even try to be PC about anything. And he knows he’s full of crap too. My kinda guy.

He says he’s going to turn my hair a coppery red because it will look good with my freckles. I’m okay with anything as long as I walk out of there with cute hair. I’ve done Reba McIntyre red, dark burgundy, and light auburn with blonde streaks, but never copper. I have an appointment in three weeks, so we’ll see how it goes. Cross your fingers, toes, eyes, and ovaries for me.

Also, we’re talking (arguing, claws bared a li’l bit) about definition of a romance novel. Check out our two cents here.