Both of these are neckwarmers, i.e. short scarves that go around the neck once and button rather than wrap around a bunch of times and dangle.

The first one is a pattern called “the Pidge”, no idea why, but that’s what it’s called. I took some flat pics on the coffee table, but figured that didn’t really show how they looked, so I modeled them in the bathroom. It’s more complicated than you think to get a decent neck shot while self-photographing. Warning: I am wearing no make-up in these pics. Look at your own risk of blinding by my pasty whiteness.

A picture from the front.

And a picture from the side.

This one is a pattern I sort of made up by cobbling together about 4 different patterns I found online. The flat picture turned out with weird colors, but you can see all of it. The self-pics are more true to life on the color, which is a blue-green with some creamy yellow mixed in. The yarn is thick and crinkly. Don’t fall too much in love though, this one is for a friend’s birthday soon. It’s not mine to keep.

The front shot.

Side shot.

Next project: a long scarf for the Prof. Moriarty in a nice blue-gray yarn he picked. I dragged him to the yarn store to choose his own. What? It was only sort of cruel and unusual to make him go in there. And he gets something nice out of it!

Anyway, the bottom of the thing had worn away and the sticky stuff that kept the liner attached to the fabric was now stuck to the floor. It took a whole lot of scrubbing to get all that crap off the linoleum, too.

I have two bath mats in my bathroom, a big one in front of the tub and a smaller one in front of the sink. Since these were the same brand/age (it was the bigger one that stuck), the smaller got tossed too, just to prevent further sticky scrubfests.

This prompted an emergency redecoration of the bathroom. I’ve been meaning to get new mats, and maybe some new towels to match, so a quick trip to Ross and Bed, Bath, and Beyond and I thought I was all set. Awesome, pretty new bath stuff. Yay!

Until.

Until I put everything in the washer and dryer. Yes, I wash it all first, it’s been hauled in trucks, sitting in warehouses, and then touched, petted, coughed, and sneezed on by countless customers at the store before I got it. Ew. I read the instructions and washed everything exactly as it told me to. The towels were awesome–fluffy, luxurious, pretty. The two bath mats fell apart, the thread unraveled and they had bald patches all over them.

Oh, hell to the no was I keeping this shit.

I threw both of them in the bag, grabbed my receipt, and took them straight back to the store. Bed, Bath, and Beyond was great about taking them back, but I wasn’t buying another bath mat from them. I went home and did a little searching online and found that Kohl’s was having a sale in their bath department, so I made yet another trip to a store. (There may have been a side trip to BevMo for some alcoholic beverages at that point, because come on, I’d killed three bath mats in one day. Four, if you counted the smaller one I had to toss with the big one that stuck, and I do count it since I had to pay to replace it. So, four bath mats dead in one day)

I found some that worked with the towels I’d bought (I brought one to make sure I could get something close to a color coordination going on), and took them home and stuck them straight in the washer and dryer. If they were going to die on me too, I wanted to know before the return policy ran out. (There may also have been a side trip on the way home for a strawberry milkshake at In & Out. What? All I’d wanted to do that day was clean house and write. You’d need a milkshake after all this too. Don’t judge.)

From the looks of it, the Kohl’s bath mats survived. There was a little shedding, but nothing too bad. So, here are pictures of the winners of the 2011 Bath Mat Celebrity Death Match! *cheers*

I have to say that he’s not wrong, so much as just poking fun. He thinks “etsy” is a silly, nonsensical name. I think that was actually the point. In any case, I buy quite a bit of stuff there, simply because I can’t get it anywhere else. Most of the stuff is vintage, one of a kind, and/or handmade. I buy pieces for costumes I have to wear (not a fan of costumes, but do it right if you have to do it), jewelry, bath and lotiony stuff, etc. It’s amazing what you can find on there. Seriously, let me show you a tiny sampling of what’s available.

Things I’ve bought there:

A custom corset and skirt for the Smutketeers photoshoot from Damsel in this Dress. She did such a great job, and the steel boning on that sucker really cinched me in in all the right places. (That’s me on the far right in the picture.)

A custom set of earrings from Earth’s Opulence. I have the most sensitive ears on the planet. I can only wear certain metals and the earrings can only be so heavy or my ears swell up like ping-pong balls. She was very cool about customizing her earrings for me, making them smaller and lighter so I could wear them. So freaking pretty! This is them. I got a couple of pairs of extra dangles for the earrings, so I can switch them out if I feel like it. Neat, right?

A custom ring from Monkeys Always Look that’s stamped with the coordinates to a very special place. I’m not showing you my actual ring, but here’s the kind of thing I’m talking about.

And I fully admit to eyeballing her custom vintage silverware garden markers. She may be hearing from me again soon.

This one’s not garden-friendly, but it makes me laugh every time I look at it.

This one is from pixxxie pie & posie, which I only partially bought. It’s this great handmade, steampunky bath oil, lotion, and perfume shop. See? The gear work is just so nifty.

The Smuketeers bought this vial of perfume oil as part of our raffle basket for the Authors After Dark conference (which is how I only partially bought something). La Petite Morte…so fitting for a group of smut peddlers, don’t you think?

Anyway. Hi, again. If anyone is still listening. *taps microphone* Is this thing on?

I brought pie. Chocolate silk, to be precise. And who doesn’t love chocolate? It’s like it’s own food group. That’ll warm up any house warming, don’t you think? She and her hubby have such a cute little place, with tons of books, of course. Hey, it’s the librarian code or something to have a houseful of them!

In the end…there were good times and a sugar rush to be had by all.

See…here’s the chair design:

And here’s the fabric (because the one they had it in was just fug):

I think Professor Moriarty doesn’t like the fabric I chose. He’s into neutrals, so he loves my big beige couch. I think he’s gonna wince when he sees the chair up close and in person. Ah, well!

Buh-bye!

In preparation of my enforced time off, I’ve been running around like mad trying to get stuff done. Cleaning house, taking two…um…three boxes to the used bookstore, prep work for the classes I’m teaching this semester at the university, dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing the bathroom, mopping the kitchen, fluffing the cushions on my new couch…oh, and writing the sequel to “Between Lovers,” the novella in Sexy Beast 9, which comes out later this month.

The male one, Professor Moriarty, says it’s “cute and girly.” I’m just gonna take that as a compliment, though I’m not entirely certain he meant it as one. The painting was not his cup of tea when I picked it out. Ah, well!

And since it’s a work in progress, ignore any mess you might see in the picture, okay?

So…wah! That’s my whine for the week. I hate being sick, and I hate even more that being sick made me miss out on good times with good friends. Luckily, the Professor Moriarty was available to make me feel better and keep me entertained, but I’m still bummed out.

I’m making it to the wedding next month, come hell or high water. Just say no to sick!