So, the friend of a friend of Mad Madam M told her a story I have to relate. This friend twice-removed recently changed doctors and got to take a look at her medical records. Now she’s never had any experience with you know; so, when she checked out her records, the doctor hadn’t written she’s still got her V-chip, he said she hadn’t “debuted.”

I thought, “This is brilliant!”

So, your first time would make you, what, a debutante? And if you’re still a virgin, you must be a wallflower, right? A lady needs to be very selective who she dances with at her “debut.” And if you go by old Regency England rules, if a lady dances with the same gentleman more than three times at her “debut” she’s a shameless hussy, but if she has multiple partners she’s a smashingly successful debutante. Hehe.

The list of jokes I could, and did, make over this one is just too long to type out, but I’m sure you can come up with a few of your own. M and I cracked up for a very long time last night.

To semi-colon or not to semi-colon? That is the question.

In romance writing, I have one of two options. I can use the “;” or the “–”. Unfortunately, more options in this area is not a good thing. As the Maaaarvelous Mad Madam M (or is she a young Judith Dench-type M in 007? Could go either way based on weather pattern and hair cooperation) will attest, I have “issues” with semi-colons. She was present during my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day of being mowed down by the firing squad of reviewers for my senior thesis in college. They single-handedly gave me a complex I will never be free of regarding my use of semi-colons. The shameful memories of that day are still enough to make me suck my thumb and cry for my Grams. M’s review was just as bad; so, in numb shock, we comforted ourselves with a big helping of Coldstone Creamery. We needed LOTS of chocolate ice cream. And toppings.

Thus far, I’ve used the “–” when my characters are talking and the “;” in the narrative. Am I limiting myself too much by being uniform? I don’t know. We’re lucky I’m using semi-colons at all. I have a complex, remember?

So, my best friend and I talked over the phone yesterday evening (something we do almost daily) and we discussed my new story idea. The one about the mermaids — she already knows about Supersize Girl and is as supportive as she can be for someone 2,000 miles away and totally uninterested in my kind of stories. (i.e. contemporary paranormal romance)

Anyway, I mentioned that I had no idea how my merpeople would have sex, because, well, it is a romance and characters usually have sex at least once during the story. She suggested I find a way to make the merpeople human for a night and then they have sex the two-legged way. I vetoed that I idea immediately — what’s the fun of having merpeople if they don’t have mer-sex? I mean, really! This is such an opportunity; I can’t waste it! She got seriously freaked out by the thought of bizarre fish sex, which totally grossed me out after only a few seconds of deep thought. Ick!

So, now what? How do merpeople do the nasty, bump uglies, bone down, boink, (insert favored metaphor)? I have sort of an inkling, but don’t know how well it will transfer from my head to the paper. Wish me luck!